Fifteen (Troyler)

Chapter 1

Troye's POV

You know that feeling where you’ve been told something startling and you feel as if you’ve been punched? Like someone has just thrown their fist into the pit of your stomach, and all of the wind has rushed out of you, gasping as it goes? That’s how I feel right now. My unfocused eyes gaze out the window, not daring to glance at my parents. Our unspoken words bounce all around us, reassurances and cries for help and fearful, trembling statements, but we don't open our mouths and speak them.

The experience at the doctor flies all around me. Tests- injections and scans and the squeaking of carts being pushed on the hospital floor and pain. The doctor himself, a heavy-set man whose soulful eyes had seen far too much- he seemed to regret mumbling the words that had changed my life. The nurses had looked sympathetic as they handed my mother prescriptions for the pain I would be feeling much more of for the next few months.

It was a tumor. A tumor that was usually benign, and usually could be fixed. It was very uncommon that people would get it like I did- a malignant tumor. I couldn't remember the long names of the colorful pills the doctor had rattled off, neither could I remember their important uses. I could only focus on that one word that the doctor had said.

Uncurable.

I was uncurable.

I shut my eyes and leaned my back against the seat of the car, tears pressing against my locked lids. How would we tell the rest of my family? How would I be able to look past Sage's glittering eyes, filled with tears? How would I stay strong while Tyde's cheeks flushed red, like they always did when he was about to cry? How would I answer the boundless questions Steele would have, how would I do it? I couldn't.

The second the car pulled up to the house I was out, slamming the door to the best of my abilities (I still felt kind of weak from the tests) and headed inside, my leg resounding with extreme, persistent pain that I ignored as I basically limped to the front door. I headed down the hall as fast as I could, thankful that my bedroom was on the first floor so that I didn't have to challenge the immense stairs yet. I locked the door and laid carefully on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. I could vaguely hear my mother's shaky knocks on the door, but I waved her off with a few broad declarations of "I'm fine." and "I just need to think for a bit."  I felt bad for brushing her off, but I needed some alone time before I confronted my family.

I laid there for hours, thinking about how I was going to tell people and how I would go about this. The doctor had said that I would have some mobility for the first couple months, before treatment came into play and I would need to be transferred to hospital life.

My string of thought was interrupted by a familiar ding noise that I recognized to be a Skype notification, and I turned to face my partially opened laptop, to see Tyler's familiar, ringing icon on my screen. I wavered for a second, considering that I probably looked like crap, before the need to see the comforting face of one of my best friends became too much and I insistently clicked accept.

"Hi!" Tyler's voice rang out of my laptop a few seconds before the camera made a connection and his bright smile took up my screen.

"Hey, Tilly." I gave him a small smile.

"Troye? What's wrong? Something's wrong. Tell me all about it."

Should I tell him? Is that the right decision? Is it the right thing to do to tell a guy that his best friend is suffering from a malignant tumor and only has a few months to live? Is it something that he really needs to know? Absolutely. Did I tell him? Nope.

"Ty, nothing's wrong. I'm just tired, Sage's friend slept over last night and I swear to God she could not stop squealing and giggling." I rolled my eyes jokingly, praying that he'd believe the blatant lie that I'd procured out of thin air.