The Elements Trilogy Specials

The Worst Night of Harry's Life

Note: This special will not make sense to you unless you have read Day 4 of my Character Challenge, the section on Harry. If you do not read that first, this will not make sense to you.

"You love me, right?"

This isn't a question Harry wants to hear, but it isn't one he hadn't been expecting.

"Of course I do." he says quickly, hoping that his words will be enough. They've been enough for the past month, but sometimes people need more than words.

"Then why won't you act like it?" William's voice is rough, and Harry knows it's because he is trying to hide the tremble in his voice.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The lie slips out of Harry's mouth as easily as the lie about not loving Skylar did all those months ago. Should lying be this natural for a person?

"You say you love me, but you won't tell people we're together. You say you love me, yet you pretend to date her. You say you love me, yet every time I kiss you, you flinch and pull away as if I've burned you instead of show you affection! I don't understand!" William shouts at Harry so loudly, Harry fears it will wake his parents down the hall. "Am I just some experiment for you? Some gay rebound while you get over Skylar?"

"I'm not gay!" Harry's defenses are immediately up, his whole body going tense. "I've been through this with you, I'm bi-romantic!"

"Right. You can love both boys and girls, but only ever want to fuck the girls." William tries to sneer, but the pain in his eyes gives the look no punch. "You love me, yet you're disgusted by my touch. I don't get that. You love someone, you should want to be with them, both emotionally and physically."

"It's not that easy." Harry practically hisses at his boyfriend. "You knew this when we started dating, you said it didn't matter to you!"

"Because I didn't know it would mean I could never kiss you! Do you know how hard it is to love someone, to be in a relationship with them, yet not be able to kiss them!" William's dark eyes are swimming, and Harry knows if he doesn't calm him down he'll soon start ranting in some Native language that Harry still has trouble identifying.

"Yes, yes I do!" Harry's voice is barely above a whisper, but William hears him nonetheless. "Because I love you, and I want to want you physically, but I don't and I can't and it kills me because I can't give the person I love what they need! Yeah, I can give you my love, but that's not enough for you, is it?"

William is silent as he sits still on Harry's bed.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Harry stands up and begins pacing around his room.

"We should break up."

The words echo in Harry's mind like the ringing of a church bell, and it's loud and obnoxious, and he wants to scream, but he settles for a mumbled "Okay," and then he's grabbing his keys, ignoring the fact that he has no shoes on and that this is his house he's leaving with his ex on his bed, and he slides open the window and climbs out, ignoring William's questions.

He cries the whole way to the football field, and he cries for a whole half hour, throwing a football repeatedly through the goalpost in his cargo shorts and tank top.

He's crying when he texts Tiffany to meet him there, and he cries until she pulls up next to his truck and walks over to him.

It's to dark out for her to notice his tear stained cheeks, and if he had spoken she probably would have. But he doesn't speak, just grabs her and kisses her fiercely, and she's kissing him back, and she tastes like bubblegum and smells like an expensive perfume and it's assaulting his senses and he wants to gag, but he simply continues.

He's not sure how, but somehow they ended up on the ground, and she's naked beneath him and urging him on, and then his pants are taken off.

In one quick motion, he's no longer a virgin, and Tiffany is writhing beneath him, making noises that are supposed to be sexy, but all he can think about is how he can do this with a woman that he doesn't like, but not with a man that he loves and he hates himself for it.

The woman beneath him finishes with a loud moan, and then they're both still and panting heavily.

Harry wants nothing more than to run away from her and get the hell out of here, but he's not going to leave a woman he just fucked all alone and naked on a football field, so he rolls off her, and gathers up her clothes for her, making sure she has everything she needs before he leaves.

He's disgusted with himself the whole way back to his house, and when he gets there, William's jeep is gone and on his bed, in place of the Cherokee boy, is a note with William's chicken scratch writing on it simply reading, "It's not your fault."

The words go blurry as Harry's eyes fill with tears and he crushes the note in his fists. Love for a girl got him in this mess, and love for a boy pushed him in deeper.