Moonlit

four

I was greeted with the musky smell of a new-car scent as I slid myself into the passenger side of Ryan's red BMW. The seats were covered in black leather and I let myself sink into the comfiness, feeling elated as I had survived physical education, surprisingly without injuring myself.

Ryan shut the car door with a thump behind me, causing the car to vibrate. I watched him through the transparent windows as he came around the hood of the vehicle, trailing his long fingers along the red surface. He bobbed his head up and down, his lips creating a tight O as he whistled a tune I couldn't hear.

He paused for half a second as he curled his fingers around the driver seat's door handle. The door swung open easily, allowing Ryan to seat himself down next to me. He closed his side gently, turning to me. The unfamiliar tune escaping his pink lips was quietened as he leaned in to me quickly, planting a deepening kiss on my lips.

I squirmed and pulled away almost instantly. Something about being intimate with him didn't seem right anymore — a part of him was becoming foreign.

"Not now, Ryan," I pleaded seriously, edging away subtly. A flash of what looked like anger lit in his eyes, but it disappeared immediately. "Okay," he said bluntly, revving the engine without another word. The BMW sprung to life, purring against the tar-covered school car park.

The ride back home carried mostly awkward silences, with myself attempting to break the quiet by engaging in small talk:

"How old is this car again?"

"Nearly a year," he replied, his eyes focused on the road. I raised my eyebrows.

"Wow. You keep it in pretty good condition."

"Yeah."

I twiddled my thumbs, unsure of how to keep the conversation flowing with such a brief answer. I curled a lock of my hair between my fingers, while letting the other flatten out my red and black plaid skirt. My hands were always moving, fiddling. They had to be doing something.

Lonely, my hands were. Always looking for somewhere to be. 

I reached out to turn on the radio so that maybe music would kill some of the awkwardness. My fingers were about to clasp the knob when a gasp released from my lips as Ryan swatted my hand out of the way. I gave him a look of shock but he didn't see it; his eyes remained anywhere but me.

“Sorry, I don't really allow anyone to touch that,” he explained. His neutral tone didn't seem apologetic to me. “Right,” I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest. I could've sworn he had let me use his radio before.

The rest of the fifteen minute drive was spent in total silence. It was so quiet I could even hear the cawing of a passing raven as well as the slow, steady breathing of a tight-lipped Ryan.

Out of my peripheral vision, I could see blurs of greens and browns whip past, giving off the illusion that the car was travelling quite fast. I lived in a small yet wealthy town, my house located near the borderline where forests rose up to kiss the sky. No one moved here often, which lead me to thinking about Jake.

The image of his tunnel-like eyes swallowed me whole, his unnecessarily disrespectful gesture setting fire to my skin. We hadn't ever spoken directly to each other let alone known of one another's existence before today yet it felt as though his presence alone could evoke me to feel so many negative vibes. He was extremely obnoxious and irritable and uncanny and unbelievably rude. Some distant part of my mind found him intriguing and yearned to learn more about the daunting boy but the anger overruled greatly.

The small jolt of a stopping engine brought me back to sitting inside Ryan's car. Through the clean glass, my two-storey house towered above us. There was a few second pause before Ryan said, "Well, I'll leave you here then."