Into the Forest

Val

I had always known something was up. I could tell by the way they would look at me, that sad sort of smile they'd always given me. They knew the truth, of course they did - how could they not? But they had never told me, and for that I may resent them forever.
"Honey?" called the woman I'd thought was my mother from the other side of the door. "Can we talk?"
She thought she could make this any better? Any less hard for me? "You can go the hell away, is what you can do!" I shrieked through a spasm of tears. "I don't want anything to do with you!"
I could hear her sigh from out there. A deep sigh that made my heart crumble and made me want to take it back. 'No,' I thought, 'she's a liar! They're both liars!'
"I'm out here whenever you're ready, Val." She walked back down the hall, leaving me to cry into my pillow.
I turned thirteen today. I was excited, until my 'parents' told me that I was adopted.
"When I was young, I was told that I could never have children after an accident," my mother had told me. "Your father and I saved up for years before we could get you. We toured around the country trying to find our perfect baby, and when we saw you, we knew you were special. An extraordinary baby, and you've grown into an extraordinary young adult, too. We never meant to keep it from you, it just sort of happened."
It was then that I'd nearly flipped the table. How could they? The betrayal cut too deep to really process. Playing the instance over again in my head was agony!
I should have expected something, though. The looks I got from them every now and then, and our differences in appearance. I was short with black hair and olive skin; they had blonde and brown hair, my mother as white and they come and my father Latino. I'd questioned things before, since I really didn't look like either of them, but knowing the truth was so much harder and more painful than wondering about it to myself.
I couldn't deal with this today. I pulled out my phone and texted Seth, one of my only real friends. "Please pick me up, dude. Now. I'll be a few houses toward the main road."
"OMW," he replied as I started to pack a few things into a backpack. I slung it over my shoulder, opened my window, and climbed out. The ground met my feet some five feet down. Thank god I was on the ground floor!
Seth appeared in his beaten up old pickup truck about twenty minutes later. "Sup, kid? Happy birthday, by the way. You're what, ten now?"
"Cute," I retorted, playfully slapping him on the arm. Seth was my secret crush. I had no idea why he hung out with me, since he was so much older. He could drive, for Christ's sake! And I was just some dumb kid. He was cool, and never let little things bother him like other people did. There was nothing romantic between us, believe me; we were simply really good friends.
I related my afternoon to him. "Woah, dude. So you're adopted? Like, that's pretty cool, but also really uncool off them to not tell you all these years."
I nodded, already crying. The betrayal was so fresh, and I didn't want to relive it right now. "We should do something, keep my mind off things."
"I heard there's a concert down at the Brewhouse tonight. My dad helps the owner out with maintenance, so I get in ID-free. Just no booze tonight, ok?"
I agreed, and he drove us to his place. I kept my secret stash of clothes and makeup over there, the stuff that made me look like an adult and made my parents uncomfortable. "You're a growing young woman, we know, but we just don't want anyone creeping on you. You look considerably older when you dress like that, and we just want you to be safe." They made me get rid of my nice clothes, and almost all my makeup, but Seth was nice enough to keep it for me.
I donned a red crop top and short shorts, ankle heeled boots, and made sure I had plenty of makeup to hide my baby face. When I hung out with Seth, I looked like a completely different person, almost like I might be his age, maybe older. Maybe, I always thought, we could be together if I looked older. But he was always persistent in his refusal. "I'm sixteen, Val. I can get in major trouble if I'm with a girl your age. Like, I can't be getting thrown in jail! I have my life to think about here. If you can wait until we're both over eighteen, I'll consider taking you out on a date. But please, just wait until then so nothing bad happens to us. Deal?"
He was a great guy. Some kind of tech whiz, from what I could tell. Seth could do any and everything with a computer, from building to coding it. He was also incredibly handsome. He had dirty blonde hair, always shaggy, and just a little bit of stubble. Other girls my age thought that was gross, but I liked it. It made him seem older, more mature. He had bright green eyes, a crooked sort of smile, and a frame made to hold muscle, though he was on the skinny side. Plus, he was funny and smart and could drive. Seth was everything I could want in a person. Despite me being madly in love with him, he never seemed interested in my advances.
"To the Brewhouse?" I asked as I showed off my look by doing a twirl.
"Whatever you want, kid. It's your day."
We drove there, got in easily, and sat down at a table. It wasn't a particularly active club, more like a restaurant, but it was still 18+. The band came out shortly after, a jazz rock group; the music was interesting, but felt very forced.
"This is boring," I told Seth, sipping on a beer he'd asked me not to get. "Can we leave?"
"Oh, come on, it's not that bad. What else is there to do? And didn't I tell you no alcohol?"
My sights were on Lush, the craziest teen LGBT club in town. There was always something to do there, and always someone to kiss. Seth was the only one who knew I was pansexual, so he was the only person I ever went there with. He was the only friend I had who I knew wouldn't judge me.
I told him my idea and we left the Brewhouse. Lush was an interesting club. Drugs and alcohol were prohibited since the target audience was twelve to seventeen year olds, but people snuck it in anyway. Just like any good teen club. Lush was the first of its kind in the state - a safe place for queer teens to hang out, unjudged from the outside world. All you needed was a waiver signed by your parents, which I had, of course, forged.
We got in, and I began trying to find someone with booze and a joint. I could tell Seth didn't like when I did stuff like this, but he rarely called me out. Tonight was an exception.
"You need anything?" I asked, having returned with a bottle of shitty vodka.
He said he had to drive later and couldn't drink. He seemed distant, or upset. Maybe the thought of me hooking up with someone else was finally making him jealous!
"Your loss!" I teased, going off to find someone to make out with. It never took long to find someone willing, and so long as they helped me get drunk or high I'd kiss 'em. What's the point of being young if you can't get trashed and be slutty?
While making out with a fifteen year old trans girl, who honestly had too big of a lower lip, Seth pulled me away. "We gotta go," he told me. "Like, come on. For real."
I pulled my arm back from him. "Fuck off, man. What's your deal?" The girl got up and left, clearly upset and thinking Seth was my boyfriend or something.
He looked around nervously, as if something was wrong. Leaning to my ear, he whispered, "We gotta go. There's this guy here looking for you. Stop looking around! We need to leave!" It took me a second for this to sink in because I'd been drinking. Had I done anything illegal enough that an officer would be after me here?
He took me by the hand and forced me out of the club. "Seth, what's going on?" I demanded as he ran, dragging me behind. My head swam from the alcohol.
He pulled me into an alley. "There's a guy. Looking for you. Shady motherfucker. I think I know why, but it's a bit complicated... You trust me, right?"
"Of course! Just tell me what's going on? Did someone drug you in there? You're acting so weird."
He swung his head around, searching for something. "To my truck, now. I'll tell you on the way."
"The way where?" I yelled, getting impatient.
"To my Home Away From Home. Believe me, it'll be more than safe."
We darted from the alley to the main road, booking it for Seth's truck. We weren't far from the garage it was in, but I felt an overpowering sense of dread.
Getting to the truck was easy, and it started fine. It was the idea of our destination which made me uneasy. "So, can you tell me what's up yet?" I said bitchily.
"Please, just give me a minute to process what happened."
I gave him a minute of silence, and somewhere, between him saying that and me wanting to begin talking, I found myself falling asleep.