DON'T YOU TRUST YOUR BROTHER ? | ✅

personal critique + fix this boy

Unfortunately , even when people are aware of poor writing and poor story - they can still make these mistakes in their stories .

Hi , nice to meet you , my name is Ken and I did just fucking that . However , I was aware I was making these mistakes and knew what I was doing would eventually result in a poor story -

Yet , I still decided to publish because I worked on this story for three months straight , and , at that time , that was the longest I had ever worked on a project , and I wanted to fall back into my old wattpad life once again ( fun fact : this is not my first account - I've been on here for about 4 years ) of writing and publishing my little works for a small crowd to read .

However - I had gotten better since the fan fiction era and the ' ASK ME ' journals , so I thought it was appropriate for me to take a step up and make a big boy book . Play with the big dogs of wattpad like Vigilante and my brothers best friend is the CEO of an alpha gang and I'm his mate etc etc etc .

This ?

This boy ?

This ain't it .

So today we're going to be going through and picking out some of the big uh ohs with this bad boy before some YouTube channel gets their hands on it and tears it to shreds for the public eye withthe assumption I don't know this is really , really bad .

We're going to break this down into a kind of semi-organized list of issues -

What's it organized by ?

Big Fish and little fish .

We're going to go in and pick apart the big issues , and then bring it back around with the guppies .

Warning : Spoiler alert ( but I doubt that means much if you've gotten this far )

THE BIG ISSUES

( 1 ) SHOCK HORROR ISN'T CUTE

I have spent alot of my life loving shock horror . The human centipede , body horror , semen affiliation - all of it , the whole kit , has always grossily fascinated me .

And that definitely showed in this with the whole twincest concept .

There is little more that people consider taboo aside from incest - especially that of twins - and especially that of the same sex .

In short - I had nearly hit the pentacle . All I was missing was necrophilia and a racy joke , and I would've have been at the peak - the climax - the fucking four corners of shock art -

But that's not a good thing - especially since I was aiming to write a story with a rather grim subject matter and turn out .

I was aiming for this : Story that explores twin relationships realistically , how far they can be pulled before they can break , the downfall of living in someone's shadow for too long , as well as suddenly becoming someone's forced obsession , and male on male rape between teenagers .

What I ended up delivering was : ' Doki fucking Doki watch the edgy twin get butt rapped by the jock - kawaiiiiii . Edgy edgy edgy - rape rape rape - twincest twincest twincest '

Which haha - no . Please .

This tells me I need to let up on the shock art . Which I something I was aware of going into this . I was completely aware of how edgy my story was and I still , stupidly , decided to write it like that .