Letting Go

Chapter 12

"NO CHANCE NO WAY I WONT SAY IT NO NO! YOU SWOON YOU SIGH WHY DENY UH OH"

Hercules has one of the best sound tracks Disney has ever made. I won't say I'm in love is my number one favorite Disney song and as soon as it came on I jumped up from my seat and started to sing and dance to the song. In this very moment I felt like I was channeling my inner Elson. Spinning around  and dramatically moving my hands as I let the song take over and I completely forgetting who was watching me. From the corner of eye I could see Emerson and Elson looking at me and laughing. Throughout out the majority of the movie I would catch both of them or one them recording me dancing or mouthing the words. I tried to contain myself, but this one song gets me every time and it was soon coming to an end.

"At least out loud..." singing the ending softly and attempting to harmonize with Meg, I walked  back towards my seat and slowly sat down crossing one leg over the other, "I won't say I'm in loovee"

As the muses sang the very last line I leaned back into the couch pillows and sighed at the same time as the muses did. Taking a look over at Elson and Emerson they stared right at me. Elson was smiling wide and Emerson's mouth was hanging slightly open.

"I." Emerson started, "Can not."

"Believe you just jumped and started singing and dancing a whole choreograph!" Elson finished his sentence and clasped his hands together "That was so freaking cuteeee"

I felt my cheeks become warm and covered my face. I cannot believe I did that too. Moving my hands away from my face, Elson held my hands in his, "Don't be embarrassed Cartier."

"That was so awesome." Emerson stood up and moved to sit on the floor so he was between me and Elson. "Maybe a little embarrassing though. But awesome." Emerson smiled at me and Elson laughed.

"Okay I agree. Maybe it was a just a tad bit embarrassing." Elson let go of my hands a pinched my cheek laughing

Lightly hitting both of their arms I put a finger on each side of my head mimicking devil horns and stuck my tongue out of them. Both of them laughed and Emerson got up shaking his head.

"Sorry to ruin this lovely moment, but can I use your bathroom?"

Nodding my head I pointed in the direction of my room, "Sure go ahead. Just go into my room and the door to restroom should be on the left."

"I AM GOING AFTER" Elson announced.

Rolling his eyes Emerson said his thanks to me and walked away from us. Turning my attention towards Elson, he was looking down at his phone.

"Cartier."

"Hm?"

"Can we sleep over?"

What. "Um.."

Looking at me, Elson waited for his answer. I've known them for a couple of months now and they have been really good to me. It's also getting late and I do not want Emerson to driving home in the dark.

"I mean, I guess so. I don't have a problem with it."

Smiling Elson threw his arms up in the air and tilted his head back "YESSSSSS"

Laughing at his oddness I watched as Elson moved his hips and wave his arms back and forth. Weirdo. In the midst of talking to Elson I completely forgot about the mirrors in the bathroom. Getting up from the couch I ran into my room and stopped in front of my bathroom door. I could hear Elson coming up behind me and my hand was hovering over the doorknob.

"Cartier why'd you get up so fast?"

My hand began shaking and my fist clenched and unclenched. I debated with myself whether or not I should knock on the door. I can't believe I forgot.

"Cartier? What's in there?"

The air around me felt like it was becoming thick and Elson's voice became distant. I'm so stupid. The door flung open and Emerson looked down at me. His face was seemed serious with an emotion I've seen Elson have before. Concerned. My hand fell down to my side and my body started shaking. I am so freaking stupid. They both are going to hate me now. They will never want to talk to me. They probably will think I'm crazy. Looking down at the floor, tears threaten to spill from my eyes. It's all over now. Elson moved from behind me and walked into the bathroom. The room fell silent and I could feel Emerson's stare on me. Slowly I took a few steps back, but before I could move away any further Emerson grabbed my arms and pulled me into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and my whole body became engulfed in his warmth. Thoughts on what I should say or do next ran through my head, but I couldn't find or express the right words to say. Tears spilled down my cheeks and I became embarrassed at the situation at hand and angry and disappointed in myself that I let something so important slip my mind. Emerson's arms slowly released themselves from around me and he kneeled down in front of me. Elson walked up from behind and opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it. His eyes were brimmed with water and the look he gave me made me feel smaller than I already felt. We were all at a lost for words. Before I could think of something to say, Emerson gently squeezed my hand which brought my attention to him.

"Cartier," Emerson's eyes were locked into mine and I knew right then and there what he was going to ask, "Why are your mirrors covered?"

Just moments ago, I felt a bliss of happiness that I haven't been able to feel in such a long time and just like that, it all went away within a matter of seconds. If I tell them why I have my mirrors covered, will they leave? Will they turn their backs on me now and finally realize that they were wrong to hangout with me? But they're my friends, right? Will they understand? Pulling my hands away from Emerson, I took a deep breath and started pulling at the bottom of my hoodie.

"I'm hideous." My voice became quite and I wasn't able to make it eye contact with either of them. For so long it's only been me and my thoughts, I've never said how felt out loud to anyone before. My heart felt weighed down and all my thoughts were becoming fuzzy. All I could focus on was what would happened next, but I kept coming up with no answers. I've never been in this type of situation before, it's nerve racking. I truly don't know why they would become friends with me when I look the way I do, I don't want to think the worst of them but sometimes I can't help but let my mind wander.

"How could you say that about yourself?" Looking up, I saw Elson's fists ball up and a few tears roll down his cheeks. I caused this. "You are not hideous. You are so beautiful. And I'm not just saying it to say it." Elson's wiped his tears away and puffed, "You're amazing. In every single way."

Adding on to Elson, Emerson stood up and stood next to Elson, "for the short amount of time I've gotten to know you, I've never seen anyone as genuine as you are."

"We are going to show you." Before I could respond to anything, Elson took my arm and pulled me into the bathroom. Turning my body to where the mirror would be, Elson let go of my arm and ripped off the black sheets that were covering the mirror. There was no time for me to process everything that was happening. This was all going too fast. I was stuck staring at a person I was unfamiliar with and Elson and Emerson looking right into the reflection. I didn't even know Emerson was behind me until just then. In front of me was a girl much shorter than Emerson and Elson with deep dark brown hair, light brown eyes and skin lightly tanned with freckles covering the majority of the face. I never noticed how full and bushy my eyebrows are. Taking a few steps towards the mirror, I reached out my hand to touch my own reflection. I never thought about taking off the sheet, but now I feel the urge to take them all off. I don't know why, but looking at myself now with two people I never thought would befriend me, I've begun to appreciate more of what I have right in front of me and I should start letting go.