Souji was randomly flouncing around the streets one evening looking for somebody.
"Hijikata-saaaaan~? Are you hiiiding~~?"
He started looking in people's windows for Toshizou.
"Huhn, loadsa people are looking at me funny~ Is there something on my face, guuuys?"
Then Souji heard a familiar-sounding voice coming from one house.
"Where the hell did my leeks go?!"
Souji burst through the door and shouted, "HIJIKATA-SAAAN~~~! I'VE FOUND YOUU~~!"
He hugged the very shocked Katakura Kojuurou.
"Who the hell are you?"
Souji looked up in disbelief. "Hijikata-saaan? You forgot me? Aww, I'm huurrt~"
He looked at Kojuurou more closely.
"Hijikata-saaan..." he said slowly, "Why do you have a scaaar? Aw, did you get hurrt? Don't worry, I'll make it better~~"
"What........are you drunk or something?"
Souji put a finger to his cheek and thought for a minute.
"Well~ I think I did have some sake this morning....~ But that wasn't enough to make me druuunk, right?"
"I think I need to call the cops--"
"Hijikata-saaaan~~! Why are you being so meaan to meee~? It's like you're--"
"SOUJIII? WHERE ARE YOU?"
Souji and Kojuurou turned towards the window to see *ACTUAL* Hijikata Toshizou walking around outside.
"Oh, Hijikata-saaan! You didn't tell me you had a twiiin~!" Souji mock slapped Kojuurou. "Naughty~!"
He then walked over to the (open) window and leaned out of it, waving his arms.
"Hijikata-san's twin brotherrr~~~! I'm over here~~!" he called.
Toshizou spun around towards Souji's voice. "Souji, whose house is that?"
"Hijikata-saaan's~! He never told me about you~!" Souji's head and arms retreated back into the house.
He came out the door a few seconds later and ran towards Toshizou.
"Souji, what are you talking abou-" Toshizou was cut off by Souji glomping him quite massively.
When Souji had finished smothering Toshizou with his body (okay that sounds wrong) he started dragging Toshizou into Kojuurou's house while talking like an excited 12-year old girl.
"You see, I was looking for Hijikata-san and he was like talking about leeks and I found him and then it was like he had like anmesia or something and he thought I was drunk can you believe hahahahaha your brother is so funny sometimes~ and then we heard you and yeeeaaah~~! My name's Souji by the waaaay~ But you already know that somehow because you've been STALKING ME HAVEN'T YOU well I am an amazingly popular pop star hehehe with loads of fangirls their voices are so annoying blah blah blah...."
Souji was still talking for a long time after he and Toshizou entered the house.
"Do you know this guy?" Kojuurou asked Toshizou.
"...........when he's normal, yes."
"....and then I was like to Tosaka-kun you need to get a new hairstyle try purple like mine wait no you can't have as fabulous hair as me because you're such a..."
"Please. Shut him up." Kojuurou moaned with his face in his hands.
"Gladly." Toshizou turned to Souji (who was now spouting details of his last gym workout) "SOUJI, WE'RE LEAVING."
"But I haven't finished my--"
"No buts." Toshizou picked Souji up and flung him over his shoulder. "Sorry about all that." he said to Kojuurou.
"It's okay.....at least he didn't do anything destructive. (better than a drunk Masamune-sama)"
"Ooh this is like a rollercoaster hey Hijikata-san's twin brother do I have to pay you for this ugh you smell like tofu I want some tofu you're making me hungry I hate you just kidding I love you maybe I'll kiss you nooo you're too far away I want some tofuuuuuu~~~...."
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Souji woke to a very good feeling.
".....argh why does my head feel like it's getting attacked by sheep with no legs" he groaned.
Then he opened his eyes and saw Toshizou leaning over him.
"ARGH WHAT--"
"Feel better now, Souji?"
"Oh yes I feel amazing-ARGH WHY IS THE LIGHT SO BRIGHT LEAVE ME ALONE WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU KILL YOUR LIGHT ANCESTORS OR SOMETHING"
Oh man he's talking crap again Toshizou thought.
He dragged Souji out of bed ("What are you doing arrgghh why is the air so cold arrgghh") and proceeded to dump him in the nearest lake/pond.
"ARRGHHHH SO COLD WHAT THE HELL ARRGHHH"
"That's what happens when you get drunk like that."
REMEMBER KIDS: DON'T GET DRUNK OR YOUR BEST FRIEND WILL DUMP YOU IN A LAKE
What the hell kind of story and moral was that?!
A GOOD ONE
My goosebumps beg to differ.
SHUT UP OR I'LL MAKE ANOTHER STORY MAKING EVEN MORE FUN OF YOU
Save me somebody please
LOL NOPE
Your writing skills are terrible as always.
NEXT CHAPTER: POKING FUN AT OKITA SOUJI
Crap.
