When The Pieces Fall

Chapter 19

Will pov

Where do we from here? This is true rock bottom. I thought when she had rejected me that that would be the worst possible thing that could happen. Now that all this time had passed and I've made so little progress I can't help but feel this is truly the end and I have no one, but myself to blame.
Who on earth would do the things I have? How could I beat her? How could I enslave her? How could I almost rape her? And could I only realize how awful I was being later?
All this has happened because of how selfish I am. Even realizing this I can't give her up. My lack of accepting that she'll never want me is only a testament to my narcissism. How could the fates pair us? I am a curse to her. Everything is my fault.

Will (twelve years ago)

Hope still isn't talking to me or anyone else for that matter. I want so badly to be there for her if only she'd let me in. My parents say these things just take time. In order to be with her more, I've moved from my own home with my parents and into the pack house to be with her. Despite even this though she remains closed off so I've begun to hang out with the other pack kids.
They could never replace Hope but, they're good company. They laugh, talk and play which are things, Hope never does anymore. I feel somehow guilty being with them when I could be with her. I wish the guilt would go away. Guilt is the worst thing I've ever felt but, I feel it just as much when I'm with her. Why can't she just be happy again? Everything would be okay if she were still happy.
"Hey alpha what are you thinking about?", says Cassie. Cassie is a nice girl and her mom has been encouraging us to spend time together.
"Cassie you don't have to call me that I'm not alpha yet", I tell her. She always insists on calling me that and all the other kids have started following her example.
"And I was just thinking about Hope", I tell her, " I wish she'd feel better because I miss her".
"My mommy says that hope is no good and is just holding everyone back", I turn to her as she says that.
"Hope is my best friend!", I shouted, "how dare you say such things?". I feel my face heat with anger. Hope is just sad right now but, she'll get better. I turn my back on Cassie to go find Hope.
It doesn't take long to track her to her bedroom, even without werewolf senses I'd be able to find her here as she never seems to leave.
"Hi, Hope what are you doing", I ask her she just looks at me with her sad teary eyes. I sigh and go lay down with her.
"I miss you", I tell her, "why won't you talk to me aren't we friends anymore?". She still only stares at me. My former anger with Cassie begins to return.
"Why don't you want to be my friend anymore, Hope?", I raise up on my elbow as i begin to shout down at her, "everyone else wants to be my friend! We're supposed to be best friends but, you only ignore me". Now looking at her I feel only anger. The anger is so much better than the guilt I had become acquainted with so I push it further and give into my anger. I maneuver my body over hers. Her expression finally changes from grief to something new. She's afraid of me. My resolve almost cracks to know I'm scared of her. Maybe if it had then I wouldn't have hit her.
When I finally stopped, she was a bruised and weeping mess. Part of me wanted to hold her and tell her I was sorry. That part of me hurt though, so U covered it with more anger.
"You're so sad and useless you shouldn't be called Hope", I tell her, "you're only holding the pack back so you shouldn't have a name anymore". I turn from her and leave.
After I beat Hope, I went to hang out with the other pack kids. These kids make me feel better. They don't turn away from me. They call me alpha and tell me that they think I'm cool. So, I play with them instead of feeling guilty. Seeing her after that battered and bruised from my actions felt bad so I just her more. Then the other kids who seemed to see me as their leader joined in.
Before long Hope became omega and I covered all the care I had for her with anger. I did such a good job turning my love into anger that before long I believed it myself.