I sat there in bed, staring at the screen of my phone, nervously shaking.
Am I really going to confess?
"It's about time. These feelings can't stay hidden forever." I muttered to myself as I started typing.
Hey Jesse, can we tal-
No, it sounds a bit demanding.
Hey Jesse, I wanna talk about somethin-
That just doesn't feel right.
Hey Jesse, can I talk to you about something?
I sat there, my fingers shaking over the send button, knowing this my final chance to back down.
My cat suddenly jumped up on me, causing me to accidentally tap send.
Lukas: Hey Jesse, can I talk to you about something?
I started to panic as I tried to unsend the message, but
Jesse: Of course, what's up?
Dammit Jesse, why did you have to reply so fast? Well, maybe I'm not ready to confess. But there's no way out of this. I mean, I can try.
Lukas: Nevermind.
Please let this work.
Jesse: Oh come on. Whatever it is, it won't change my opinion on you as a person.
Jesse: You can always talk to me, y'know.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Dammit. No. Please tell me I'm fucking dreaming that I'm not actually doing this.
Excuses? There has to be one. Um, uh, uhh, just-
Lukas: It's kinda personal, and I'm not really ready to share it with anyone yet.
Jesse: Are you not ready because it's kinda jumbled? Like, all over the place and unorganized?
Jesse: If that's the case, you of course can organize it here.
There's no way of getting out of this. Well, really what's the risk of telling him? 1, That we lose a long and strong friendship, 2, our friendship becomes very awkward, or 3, he'll reject me.
But there's the small possibility that it'll be fine.
That he could be feeling the same things towards me that I do towards him. That we might get together.
Maybe I could just tell him that I'm gay. It does fall into what I've told him already so.. it's worth a shot.
Lukas: Well, it's not exactly unorganized, it's just-
Lukas: There's really no way to put it without making sound awkward.
Jesse: Just go ahead.
Here goes nothing.
Lukas: I'm gay.
I threw my phone across the bed and started shaking of nervousness, waiting for a reply.
Jesse: What impact does it have on my life? It's not like I care, and I'm glad that you trust me enough to tell me, by how will it even affect me?
Do it. These feelings aren't leaving anytime soon and bottling them up won't help. Just type it.
I typed it out, with every word, my hands shook even more.
Lukas: I'm gay for you.
My heart skipped a beat as soon as I hit send. A sense of relief washed the nervousness from my chest, but as soon as I saw that he had read the message, nervousness spiked up immediately.
Jesse: Oh, I see why you're telling me.
Jesse: Cool.
Lukas: So, you're cool with your friend having romantic feelings towards you're not experiencing those feelings towards the other person?
Jesse: I never said that I didn't have feelings towards you. ;)
