The Rogue Pack Doctor (Published)

Chapter 5

Of course I laid awake a long time, thinking about everything that had happened and all the things that are still to happen. 

I laid awake till deep in the night, sleep not coming. I just thought of what to do. I know there aren't really a lot of options. I have to give this relationship a chance. I have to give Rafael a chance. I have to give his pack a chance. He said that he only saved the good rogues, the rogues that deserved a second chance. But who is he to judge who is a good rogue or not? Is he himself even a good rogue? 

Deep down I know that he is a decent man. The moon goddess doesn't just make random matches. She chooses the one that she knows you will live the happiest with. In straight couples she chooses the one with whom you will have the best offspring with, but obviously that can't happen with two men. I think she makes same sex couples to slow the population growth and possibly take in orphan kids. The system is flawed, but it works for us. 

Despite all my doubts I'm sure now. I'm going to give him a chance. I'm going to try to make it work, as long as he does the same. It's a two man's job, a relationship, no one can do it on their own. 

But I'm sure now that I am going to try. I can't tell for sure if it's going to work out, but I'll be damned if I let this one shot of happiness pass me by. 

When I feel like I made a decision, the nerves and the worries die down a bit, thankfully. It just gives me a bit of peace of mind, knowing that I don't have to make a decision, even though I still don't know if it's the right one. I know it's the only one though.  

Wait a second.

A realization suddenly hits to me.

My wolf said the word 'mate.'

Like, he talked. My wolf doesn't talk. He is a damn animal. Animals don't talk.

I've been so caught up in this whole mate thing that I didn't even notice. It's so weird now that I think about it. My wolf talked. He actually talked. Will he talk more often now? Or was it more of a one time thing?

I search my mind for my wolf, I shut him out, he always lays back when I do that, he is lazy anyway so he uses that time to sleep. He isn't sleeping now though, just whimpering softly in the back of my mind, wanting to be with his mate. I feel slightly sorry for him, I've cut him off the moment he found his mate. But we'll see him tomorrow so my wolf will be fine then. 

With that last thing on my mind, I fall in a deep sleep. 

I wake up the next morning, my dream is still fresh in my memory. I usually forget the dreams or nightmares I have right away, but this one I remember. Parts of it at least, I remember Rafael and his dark blue eyes. That's actually all I remember now I think of it. 

Speaking of, I need to get to him, we need to talk. I can feel my wolf's restless pacing in my mind which is making me restless. He shouldn't be away from him for so long, especially since we just met.  

I quickly get dressed, brushing my teeth at the same time. Trying to at least, it's more difficult than it sounds. 

Looking at myself in the mirror, I decide to just shave too. My half stubble, half beard, half bald face looks really dumb. I will look a lot better and more put together if I just shave the whole thing off. I normally don't care what other people think of me, but now that Rafael has come along, I can't help but care about what he thinks of me. 

Finally after spending way too much time on my beard, I'm ready to go. 

Should I mindlink alpha Ned to ask him if Rafael is there? What if he's out hunting or doing something else?