The Tragedies of Loving You

Chapter Three : Cherish

I fingered the simpliscant ring in between my thumb and index finger.

Fuck Don Carson.

He wasn't shit.

Fuck this damn ring I didn't have the heart to throw away.

Fuck John Black for being so good.

Don Carson felt like a distant memory up until today. I did a damn good job getting away from that man and forgetting about him. I hated him. It was like a wave of memories rewinding back , and it was playing on repeat. To him, everything was sweet but on the other hand, I was crying every night over this fool.

He held me back from dreams, he kept me down when I was rising. I'll never forget that.

Ever.

I hate him, and I hate that I loved him. That I ever loved him.

There was no love there anymore. That's for sure, I'll be damned if he thinks he can ever have me again. I refuse to let this go beyond any thing professional.

I had better things to do than worry about his ass anyways.

My mother was on her death bed.

The only person I cared about in this world. I refuse to let God take her away from me early.

. . .

She was a graceful angel.

She lived up to her name. Angel Patience Lyon. Generations, it was tradition to name your child the intuition you had of your baby's character while they were still in your belly.Or, what they hope you to be.

Cherish Sincere Lyon.

I was gifted with such name because I was someone who was as brave and shown leadership to lead like a lion. I was caring, I was genuine, I was precious. I was something everyone couldn't let go.

At least, as my mother fibbed about.

''What you over there thinking about, suga?" Mom asks me.

''Only how am I going to sneak a snickers in for you,'' I chuckle.

''As much as I would love to believe that. I know that's not true. I been devised a plan for you to sneak it up here.'' She laughs,'' I haven't seen that look since you were in high school.''

''Oh mama don't worry about me. I was just thinking about your silly ole tales.'' I joke.

She didn't need to worry about my problems. Besides, I can handle it.

''Mhm! My tales not no lies!The only exception is my name, because ya girl back in the day was shaking that ass in a circle!'' My mom's personality was too much for me sometimes, She was just a beautiful person I admired.

''Suga, don't act like I don't know my child. The wall you got up ain't nothing to your mama.''

I don't say anything. I don't know what to say.

Her eyes flutter close and she squeezes the locket on her chest.'' Is it Don sweetheart?"'

I suck in a breathe, letting out one loudly."Yes it is, my job is forcing me to interview him. I swear if I could quit I would've. I don't want to be anywhere near him!'' I fumed.

''Don't hold grudges, suga. Just let it go.''

''Let it go?'' I scoff.'' I have! I haven't talked about him in ages! I'm happy now, how can you say that?''

''Now don't get upset with me. Do you still cry at night?''

I roll my eyes, begrudgingly answering.'' Sometimes. . . ''

''Do you have a heavy heart? Like there is suppressed anger and weights on your chest?You're angry and don't know why?''

''Yeah,'' I cracked.

''That's because you haven't let it go,'' she tells me,'' if there's anything I want out of life for you, is to let it go, be happy, don't regret anything you've done because it's all for a reason.''

. . .

If it were up to me, I would've ditched this interview and left him hung up on me like he did me.

I wasn't the type to show up like a slob or a bum just because I couldn't stand my ex and he wasn't worth shit to impress. I had to be professional, plus I'm the type to dress up and be bold and courageous to show them I never left and I never will change. Show them what they missing and they wished they had.

After all, my name is Cherish.

I pound on the door. I made it to his house in no time. I wasn't the type to prolong anything.It was stupid to prolong anything to me.

Typical Don, still the same address. I thought.

He wasn't the type to let anything go. Not even I, it was a surprise the day he let me go.

Bastard.

''You ain't change one bit Cherish, still as beautiful as ever girl.''

''It's Cherri now, but you call me Ms.Lyon,'' I roll my eyes,'' Let's keep this on a professional level, shall we? Now, are you going to let me in or not?''

''I should leave yo ass out here, with that nasty ass attitude.''

''Fuck you and this damn job.''I turn on my heels, getting ready to step down the steps as he grabs my elbow firmly.

I snatch away from him.

"I'm sorry, calm down alright?''

I only stare at him blankly blinking my eyes. I lean in close.

''We never dated and I never loved you.'' I seethed.'' I'll be back tomorrow morning.''

His eyes that I use to love so much stared at me and drank my image up.

It was then when I was in my car, getting ready to back out, is when he said,''You know I always get what I want. You always been and will be mine.''

The old me heart would've lurched out of her chest and ran back to him.

The new me says fuck him and drives off.