My...friend her name is Sam she was very important to me she used to be my best friend before the incident at school she said we couldn't be best friends anymore it cut deep and I wanted to cut but I was caught cutting a couple weeks ago and I promised I'd stop..I tried to keep the promise and I was so close to making it a month without cutting when I couldn't take it anymore my favorite aunt got re diagnosed with cancer,I was getting bullied again and the thing that finally broke me was coming out you see I'm bisexual and I got a girlfriend I told my mom during a breakdown...big mistake...she didn't know that I cut...I wish she didn't care...i didn't care...she said it was selfish to cut I can't see how harming yourself because you hate yourself so much is selfish because of me my mom is drinking again my girlfriend cuts and Sam...well I just told Sam something different that I used to be addicted to ADHD well I thought that but the more I think about it I hated those pills as always it was Jacob who told me I was addicted to them and I needed to be away from them Sam said the same thing she said she may tell her mom I said not to I can't go through that anymore...I just can't...I wish she understood but no one understands how it is...no one knows how it feels to be a disappointment to see that look in your mothers eyes and your father to hate you to have the school watching your every move to want to do something so bad but you can't...I always want to cry I always feel sick but I'm trying to see the better part of life I think with help from Mk (my girlfriend) Hope (my best friend) and Sam I will be able to feel worth something and maybe be able to feel love again I lost that feeling I don't know how long ago but I just didn't feel the same without it when I say "I love you" i don't feel it...it's just gone...I've been happier lately...Sam and me have gotten closer...Sam has been through a lot too...and I want to help any way I can...I feel awful that she has done so much for me and I don't know what to do in return....I'll find out soon enough I guess...I wish they understood that I'm ok...I'm fine...
Word count: 450
I honestly have nothing to say about this
