R.C.'s 25 Days

Story 2: A Season of Forgiveness

"I can't believe you're making me do this." I stared at myself in the mirror, my brown straight hair falling over my shoulders. Steam from my recent shower still fogged up the mirror, making it difficult to see. In my hand, I held a tube of lipstick that seemed too dark a red for me. Granted, I kind of had to wear it, since it had been a gift from my husband.

Speaking of Joshua, he stood over my shoulder and gently touched the heavy sweater I was wearing to make me turn and face him. I only did so for a moment before looking away. "Rose ... you know perfectly well that the holidays are a time for gathering family around the table."

"Family you actually like," I said.

"Ah, no," Josh disagreed with a shake of his head. "If that was the case, I never would've invited my great-uncle Samuel to our wedding. Remember him?"

Of course I remembered him, and I made a face. "Yeah, but he's different. At least he didn't let your dad die."

"To be fair, he always hated my dad," Joshua replied with a little grin. He got serious when I glared at him. "Sorry. C'mon, Rose, you used to be a big friend of Rich's. You two were inseparable. So why've you changed your tune now? Over something he couldn't prevent?"

"He could have prevented it!" I cried. "He made it his life work to stop those guys, and he didn't stop the one that killed my dad!" I tugged at the end of my hair in frustration. What did Joshua not get about that?

Joshua sighed, putting his hand on my arm. "Just give this a try, okay, Rose? I just want things to be okay between you and Rich again. Because I don't think you've been the same since then."

I stared at Joshua, flinching at his words. "Josh—"

"It's nothing crazy like that!" he said immediately to reassure me. "I just want to make sure you're okay, Rose. I want to make sure you still have the people you care about close to you ..."

I shook my head, refusing to meet his eyes in the mirror. "But I don't care about him, not anymore. He's nothing to me, Joshua. I wish you would just accept that, because my gosh, I've had to. I'm not happy about it, but ... there's nothing that can be done now. Every time I see him, it just reminds me of what had happened and I just fall apart!"

Joshua turned me around, bending down so he was at eye-level with me, his much shorter wife. "Then piece yourself back together. Can't you see how much you want to be friends with him? Heck, how much you want to be his cousin again? But you're letting your own feelings blind you. You've got to be open to whatever comes your way, whether it be forgiveness for Rich or what. You've got to give him a chance."

I didn't answer, and Joshua pressed forward more. "It's Christmas, Rose. A time for forgiveness and peace, right?"

I sighed again. "I'm doing this. But for the record, I'm anticipating that this is gonna be the worst Christmas of my life."

Joshua gave me a kiss, smiling. "I think you'll be surprised." Then he rushed out of the room to warm up the car.

It took me longer to muster the bravery necessary to leave the bathroom. Somehow, the idea of seeing Rich again was now scarier than it had ever been. For months, I'd been considering trying to mend the rift between me and him, but—well—the idea had been scary to me. Mostly because trying to fix it was inviting a lot of emotions that I didn't want to experience. After all, as a reporter, I had to separate myself from my emotions in order to get the story I was after. Willingly exposing myself to those emotions? It wasn't something I liked or wanted to do.