Niall passed away in his sleep a couple nights ago. It was just from old age. Zayn also passed away. Louis, Liam, and Harry are still doing fine. They're old so their time is almost up.
The funeral made me want to throw up four times in a row. People came up to my family and me just saying 'you'll be alright and he's in a better place now.' I wonder if he met Leigh, Lanston, and Ariel. The ones we named our kids after. I wonder who he looks over and what he does up there. I wonder what it feels like to fully die.
The old band members took it hard. Harder than I expected, but they made it. My kids took it even harder. They all stayed at my house crying and wishing he was there, but he wasn't. He was gone. Dead. My only true love in life was gone forever.
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okay that was hard as fuck to write, i dont want to think about my idols dying omg im gonna cry now
