Anathema

Limbo

Darling forgive me,
I have fallen in love again.
And I have nothing to give but
my apologies and repentance.
I am caught between the limbo of
being more than nothing but less
than something.
I have always known,
patience is not a virtue. It is a cowardice.

Waiting for someone else's permission
implies a weakness I refuse to feel again.
Every piece of poetry I write
is about thousands of wars I have fought and continue to fight.
They become a dull tune I press against the lips
of countless lovers,
A quiet din that somehow never falls silent.
No matter how many times I am told to

be quiet,
you whisper. Soft. Tender.
Choose your battles wisely, I can't bear to lose you again.
But darling I have chosen my wars,
and love is one of them.
It is a weakness I refuse to fight anymore.

i have fallen in love again.
And i have nothing to give but myself.
i am caught between the limbo of
being more than nothing but less
than something.
In the purgatory of adoration and loathing i learn.
i remember.
The lifelines of my hands.
The intricacies of my body.
My mind.
My eyes.
i let them see everything i've wanted to ignore.
Caught in the crossfire between me, myself and I,
i lose.
And i have fallen in love again.
i am object of my own affections,
and i think i am free.

But then again,
so does every fool in love.