Playlist for the chapter:
Lupita- Drawing Heaven
Just a little of your heart- Ariana Grande
The reason- Hoobastack
Look after you- The Fray
Adam:
His POV
I drove to the nearest bar from...home. Home. I couldn't believe I just f.ucking left them like that. Them. My head was pounding as I took another shot. Why couldn't she just not get pregnant! 'You got her pregnant you idiot.' Fuck. "Can I have another one of these miss?" I asked the bartender and she gave me a wary look. "I'm sorry, but this bar only lets me provide you with a maximum of 5 shots. You've taken one too many, I suggest you leave sir." She replied. "Are you f.ucking joking?" I asked. This was one of the most stupid things I have ever heard of. Back in the UK they would us drink freely, I knew it was a mistake getting involved with an American. Falling in love. Starting a family. "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone," she recited as she pointed towards the sign behind her. "Well f.uck you and your shit service!" I yelled at her and before I knew it, a pair of arms was grabbing me by the arms and pushing me out of the bar. A buff guard stood in front of me, blocking my access to enter the bar again. "Go home man. You got a family? Go to them," he told me and I looked up at him, his words hitting me. "She's pregnant," I cried. Literally. Tears were beginning to fall down my cheeks. "She's f.ucking pregnant! With my kid!" I told him and his eyes softened as he uncrossed his arms from his chest and placed them by his sides. "So you've got a girl?" he asked me and I nodded as I sniffled. "Then why aren't you with her?" The million-dollar question. Why wasn't I with her? "Because I'm going on tour soon. I devoted my life to this band, and any complications aside of it should stay outside of it." I sighed. "You wouldn't understand," I finished. "Do you love her?" He asked. "Well yes, of course, what kind of question is that?” I responded. "Then there's your answer. Go to her. Forget about the tour. Forget about being in a band for a second. Think. She has a growing child inside of her. It's yours." He looked at me and gave me small smile before he walked back inside the bar, leaving me standing there...dazed.
Matty:
His POV
"And if I meant something to you, then clearly we wouldn't be in this f.ucking situation right now. If I MEANT SOMETHING, you would have never done this." She picks up her bag from the floor and looks at me with watery eyes. "You are nothing to me now Matthew Healy."
You stupid stupid stupid idiot. I'm stupid. Stupid. Why would you hurt her that way? How could you hurt her that way? I told myself as I threw every last possible thing to the ground in our once shared apartment. You’re horrible. I know. "Fuck!!!!!!!!" I shouted to no one in particular as I fell to the ground and put my head in between in hands. Who was the whore's name anyways? Molly. Monica. Mandy? Oh who the fuck cares. She came on to me. I should have never had that stupid party last night. That stupid party was what got me into this mess in the first place. Clearly being drunk, and wanting to leave the party to get some peace in my own f.ucking bedroom didn't seem to be interpreted by stupid girls like Molly that I wanted to be ALONE. And me, foolishly thinking it to be Y/N, kissed her right back, which turned into a full on, make out session in the dark. Jesus f.uck, I would be mad at myself if I were Y/N, who walked in and just left the room after standing still for a few seconds. Y/N, the girl I was planning to marry one day. The girl of my dreams, alone, hurt. It pained me to imagine her right now in that state, probably bawling her eyes out at her sister's place. My beautiful princess f.ucking crying because of me. How could I be so ignorant? What the hell was I doing here? Doing nothing. When I could be by her side right now, comforting her, mending her aching heart? I stood up and dashed for my keys by the door. 'She needs her space.' the thought suddenly occurred to me and I let my hand drop from the key holders. But it was all a misunderstanding. She has to know that. There is no time for 'space' she had to know. My head kept spinning with so many thoughts as I grabbed the keys and ran out of my front door. I needed her. And she needed me.
Ross:
His POV
I stood emotionless as I saw her run down the corridor further away from me. I did the worst thing a man could ever do to a woman. I hurt her physically. And the worse thing is that she has a past with these things and the first thing I promised was to never ever lay a hand on her if it came to a point where we were both fighting. We've had other fights but never this extreme. I know I have anger issues and she knows that. We both have problems. But we're each other’s safe havens. She's what brings me back to reality. She's my nirvana. My rock. And I'm hers. But now I f.ucking ruined the whole thing between the both of us. I f.ucked up so much. "Ah!" I kicked at a chair, and as it stumbled over, the guys came off stage to see what was up with me. Matty looked at me carefully as he slowly walked towards me. "It's okay mate, we'll deal with this okay. Just breathe. Remember just breathe," He soothed but I completely flipped. "I hit her! I f.ucking did the one thing I promised her never to do!" I freaked as I kicked at another chair. "I hate myself so much, so f.ucking much." Adam attempted to put a hand on my shoulder but I pushed it away and hit him. "Don't f.ucking touch me!" I yelled at them. They were all fazed, as they had never seen me this way before. Or at least never really in front of them. When I had these attacks Y/N was usually around and always calmed me before things got this extreme but where the hell was she now? Gone. "Hey, where you going?" George asked as I began to walk off down the same corridor Y/N once left off to. I was going to the only place I could feel calm and peaceful. To the only person I didn't have to hide my true nature. "I'm going to her." I said without turning back to face them. I heard a faint "Let him." as I continued walking away from them.
George:
His POV
The door clicked behind me as I closed it shut. She's stupid for not giving up on me. I told myself as I took off my shoes and lay in bed. I could honestly give less of a shit of her or even of myself. Work wise; the band was bound to kick me out sooner or later. I don't even know why they bothered with my shit ass. I would now have no job and no girl, what a delight. My head was hurting bad enough with the alcohol in my system and having these thoughts in my head weren't helping the knot in my head that wouldn't let me think for more than a moment. So I just sat at the edge of my bed and began to gather all of my thoughts. I was being an ass. An utter idiot. Who can't even love himself. The truth hit me like a ton of bricks to the head. "I'm stupi-" I couldn't even finish talking to myself as I ran straight into the bathroom and kneeled before the toilet bowl as I began to puke. Jesus fuck, I'm a mess right now. I groaned as I got up rinse my mouth out. I just needed to think for a moment. I couldn't let this continue going on. F.uck. I can't just give this all up. I have a good job, and that being with my three other brothers. I have a f.ucking beautiful girlfriend two walls away from me crying her eyes out because of me. What the hell am I doing myself? I look at myself in the mirror and see the dark eye bags formed underneath my eyes...this is me. And I can't ruin myself. I wanted to break the glass right there and then but I stopped myself. I'm a monster. And she deserves better than that. I'm just a worthless drunk... scared of their own reflection.
A/N
George's is complete shit. I gave up. There will be a part 3 to this; I know it's getting annoying. I want to give a massive thank you to all of you guys for getting me to 1.4k reads! That's fucking amazing. I would also apologize.... because I'm horrible at updating. I can't make any promises as to when I will update but all I can is I will. And!!! Because I'm so shitty at complying with updates, I CAN PROMISE YOU that the next preference will be like a 'first time'. I don't know if I have younger readers, (Although why would I, if this band references drugs) but I'm letting you know in advance the next update will contain smut. As in SEX. Okay, cool. By the way I may or may not have grammar & spelling errors...okay yeah that's it byeee
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The 1975 Preferences
Fanfiction"But if you still want that person by your side through all of those things...that's when you know-that's when you know your good at love." ~George Daniel, Adam Hann, Matt Healy, Ross Macdonald~ *Your typical preferences about 4 talented brits.
