Radio Lovers - (john deacon)

Chapter 6

William led the way back inside, up the stairs and through the hallways. John followed right behind him.

Will opened the door to his apartment and Beck immediately jumped onto the couch and dug his way under the fuzzy blankets.

"Oh...Beck." William sighed. Beck had tracked his muddy footprints all over the house and onto his new white pillow.

John chuckled a little at Beck's cute little face just mindlessly dozing off while William scrambled to clean up the mess. John sat down next to Beck and started petting his head and back. After a while Beck turned over and exposed his belly, something he never did with strangers.

"He likes you." William said, crouching next to Beck to wipe his dirty paws. "He usually doesn't like strangers."

"Well, I feel very special." John softly massaged Becks ears and a smile spread across his face as Beck's tail started wagging furiously.

Will went back to the kitchen to pour some tea he already made. He poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Here, I'll take your coat." William reached his hand out to accept John's coat after handing him the cup of tea.

"No, no. It's okay. I don't mind." John said.

William shrugged. "Whatever you say."

William sat down and set his cup on a coaster. Beck was between the two trying to get all the love and warmth he could possibly get.

They both sipped their drinks gently to try to warm up after standing outside in the cold for so long.

Neither of them spoke to each other for a quite a while. The T.V was still on in the background playing some comedy show that Will put on earlier to cheer him up. It didn't really work but it was worth the shot. He really wanted to finish Terms of Endearment. Sarah called him a few weeks ago to tell him to watch it, but he only got around to it now after learning what a sad movie it was. He figured that the movie would probably break his heart even more if he watched it after what happened with John.

Will watched the show and laughed a man in a silly costume.

John turned around to watch the television. "You like Saturday Night?"

"Yeah. One of my favorite shows. Lately their hosts have been sucking though."

"I haven't had time to watch since the tour started and stuff."

"Oh." Will said not really knowing what to say next.

John then went on to talk about all of the things that he liked on SNL. Particularly the musical guests they have. But Will wasn't really listening. He was focusing on John's hair bobbing as he excitedly talked, and how his eyes crinkled when he smiled at something or the fact that he covered his face when he smiled. William just couldn't get enough of him. But then it sunk in that Will invited John up to his apartment for one reason and one reason only. John didn't really see that William was concerned with other things besides SNL and his monologue about it. So William blurted out.

"Why."

John stopped and cocked his head curiously at Will. "Wait...What do you mean, why?"

"Why."

"I'm sorry, I sti-"

"Why did you stop kissing me? Why did you leave me on the beach?"

It dawned on John why he was up in Will's apartment in the first place. "I-"

"Tell me the truth. Look, I don't care if you don't like me or if this was a one time thing or you don't like men at all. I get it. Just tell me why."

John didn't really know what to say. Thousands of thoughts raced through his head. Should he concoct a lie? Tell Will that he didn't really mean it or tell him the truth. God, John didn't even know the truth about why he kissed William either.

"I...I don't know."

William rolled his eyes. "You don't fucking know?"

"I'm sorry. I don't...I don't know..."

There was silence between the two.

"Get out." William stood up and pointed at the door. "Get out right now."

John stood up and held his hands out to tell William to calm down and stop. "Wait-"

"John...I told you to get out of my fucking house."

"But I-"

" I don't care. Get out of my house right now. I brought you up here to tell me why you did that to me. You don't even care. You don't even know. Get out of my fucking house before I call the cops." William was basically yelling at this point. His entire aparment complex could probably hear his entire conversation.

John didn't move.

"GET OUT OF MY-"

"FINE!!!" John yelled back. He sighed and lowered his voice. "Fine. I'll tell you why."

William still didn't entirely trust what John was going to say or do, but he sat down anyway. He was prepared to kick John out at any moment. John sat down as well.

"I really don't know why I left you."

"I-" William was about to yell.

"Wait!" John said defensively. "I don't know why. But I know that I didn't mean to leave you there."

William softened up.

"I didn't mean to leave you on the beach.

Look. I got scared. I never kissed somebody like that. Let alone on a first date. I was scared of the fact that I had feelings for you. I thought that it would end up as just friends and we would have a cool time getting tea or whatever, but it morphed into something more. I was scared that I....I liked you."

William gulped.

"I was scared that I liked you so much. I never liked somebody like that before. You just gave me such a nice feeling. I can't even describe it.

When I kissed you, I didn't even feel myself do it. My body just took over. I thought about it the entire time that we were together. I didn't want to do it because I didn't know if you liked me back. I didn't think that you liked me back at all. But I did it anyway. I took that risk.

But when I pulled back from that...that kiss, I got scared. I thought that I made a huge mistake. I thought that you would tell the entire world what I did. I thought that you would hate me or kill me, or...I don't even know, Will. I was just so scared. I was so scared that I hurt you and forced you to kiss me back. God forbid I did that. I was just--"

William, staring at John this entire time rambling on, made him understand. He understood. And he kissed John. He grabbed John's face and kissed him passionately. And John kissed him back. They kissed like there was no tomorrow.