『hanahaki diary』花吐日记 || winwin (nct)

ღfifteenღ

『real time, sicheng's point of view』

there i was, at my girlfriend/bestfriend's funeral, reading her diary in which she named it, hanahaki diary.

it was my nth time reading her diary.

tears rolled down my cheeks as i held my chest in anguish hoping it would stop the pain in my heart, hoping god would bring xue er back to me.

"i'm sorry, i fucked up. i was blind. i'll do better, so just please come back!" i yelled.

i was a mess, a crying mess.

since young, xue er and i were always together. she was always there when i was at my lowest and vice versa until i met mina.

what did i ever see in mina? i honestly don't know.

xue er messaged me twice, wanting to meet me. Mina saw the messages and she refused to let me reply or go to her and i listened.

i'm an idiot.

i caught Mina cheating on me and i was glad, because now, i had a reason to break up with her, i didn't care at all. All i could think about was xue er. the realization hit me , i still love her and miss her so much.

i ran to her house only to find her, laying on her bed, with flowers and blood surrounding her pure, innocent self.

i went to her and tried waking her up—i even slapped her and screamed for her to get up.

but it was too late.

she was never coming back.

i took her diary in which she had beside her and i read it.

i lost all sense of humanity.

tears and screams, were all coming out of me.

my heart sank and it broke.

if i could turn back in time, i would love her with all my heart, blood, sweat and tears with no hesitation at all.

even after all the things i've done, xue er never blamed me.

she still loved me with all her heart.

wang xue er, you wanna know something?

you are an angel, you are such a sweet girl, you were a girlfriend and bestfriend who i didn't deserve.

may you rest in peace, wang xue er.

i miss you and i love you.

i'm coming for you, xue er.

i'll see you soon.

━end━

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peace out amigos✌︎