one. The story was told before but you didn't sense the danger. Either you were so brave, or, so stupid. He said he will destroy you, you thought you were born for it.
two. Your father never stroked your cheek. No roses grew where your mother hurted you. A girl with too much to give, he doesn't know how to handle.
three. He've been here before. All of the places you've never seen. You thought he can light your way, it's probably still true.
four. Try and conceal the feelings he wants to avoid. He got hurt before. He carries wounds from somebody else. You can't show him all you've got. Keep them covered under a blanket.
five. You are not a breaking point for him. He just needs someone to put that place and you tend to believe.
six. He knows you best because you let him. You were never good at explaining yourself. With him, you never need words. He will know why you lighted the second cigarette, why you can't look him in the eye sometimes, why you tend to lie.
seven. He made you grow up with the stories of her, stories of the other. Sometimes you felt like you had to bear the pain he couldn't give to them. You didn't mind. You found the sanity you've been looking for on his neck, where you can reach his smell most.
eight. You saw a dead star and built your wish on it. You were so afraid. With something so precious to lose, your mind began racing fast, then faster. Now you are gasping for air. Luckily, he is willing to share.
nine. He knows how your sick mind works. When you can't breathe and trying to get away from this trembling body, you pushed everyone. But his touch always sounded like a prayer to you. It's okay now. He is right here. It's all okay.
ten. You see him in your dreams since you shook his hand. You never told this but you dream about him even when you are lying so close to him. Your brain doesn't accept a scenario without his existence.
eleven. Sometimes your enough isn't enough for him. He won't leave you but he will search and search and search. His body will crawl with the touch of another one. This isn't a love story but it gives you pain to imagine his body with someone else's. You were never enough. Not enough for your mother, not enough for your lover, not enough for yourself. Not enough for him.
twelve. You won't care about what other people think of you. Just another girl he sleeps and wakes up with. It doesn't matter. You don't matter.
thirteen. He is not sorry for the fire in your chest. Your chest is burning because you are not all he thinks about when he goes that place. It burns brighter than ever because you believe in it for the first time.
fourteen. You can't lose him. Not now. Not when you are craving for his touch. Not when your body is covered with his fingertips.
fifteen. One day you will learn the benches weren't made for you to cry on his shoulder. Please don't make it today. God, please let him stay.
*apotelesma: latin word used for "influence of the stars on human destiny".
