Unleashed-A One Direction Fanfic (Sequel to Guarded)

Chapter 61

Chapter 61:

•Brianna's POV•

The sound of rain is more nerve wracking than the ticking of the clock in my room. I sit in front of the window, my knees pulled up in front of me with my chin resting on them as I stare out of the window, watching the drops race down the cold glass. Harry left the bed about half an hour ago and I can smell food being made in my kitchen. The smell makes me feel sick.

I can hear his footsteps padding heavily down the wooden hallway when he comes into my room the smell of food is heavier that I hold my breath to keep myself from vomiting. I have no appetite for anything. I just want to be alone and sad.

"I made you some breakfast." He says walking in front of me. I don't lift my eyes.

He holds the tray out to me but I don't take a mere second to look at it. I stare at his torso, as if my eyes could go through him and I could continue to stare at the rain, watching as it goes down towards the end of its path.

"I'm not hungry." I mumble. I still speak, mostly because the only person I talk to is Harry, however, I only say short phrases and they're not very loud.

"You need to eat though." He presses. I can hear a sense of concern in his tone and for some odd reason it agitates me.

"I don't want to." I am quick to respond, my tone clipped and laced with a sense of bitterness.

"But you need to-."

"I don't want to, Harry!"

Before I can stop myself, I'm shoving myself up from my seat, and my hands are beneath the plate of food and I send it backwards as the freshly made breakfast stains Harry's clothing and crumbles onto the floor and the plate crashes soon after.

I don't look at the mess beneath my feet, instead my eyes are locked on a very frightened yet angry Harry.

My eyes are filled with tears, blurring the green of his eyes with the darkness of his messy curls on his head.

I am suddenly yanked forward by the tops of my arms as Harry's hands wrap around my arms and he shakes me to an alert state. The tears are jerked forwards, dripping from my eyes to my cheeks and I choke on a sob.

"I know you're upset!" He yells. "But you can't push everyone away, Brianna! Losing the baby was not your fault, so don't sit here and blame yourself! You're not doing anything but putting yourself into a state of depression and I can't handle seeing you like that!"

"Then leave!" The words come out with no filter whatsoever and I freeze my mouth after those two words leave it.

I take a deep shaky breathe and swallow my tears that linger in my throat trying to force themselves out in a sob.

"You don't know what it's like." I say. "You don't understand what it feels like to be so confused. I can't tell if what I'm going through is real or am I stuck in some kind of nightmare that I can't wake up from. You don't know what it feels like for wave after wave of horrible, unrealistic things to happen to me. I'm surrounded by bad luck and sadness, too much of it for a person my age to handle. Do you not know all the shit I've been through these last few years?"

"Of course I know!" He yells. "I've been trying to help you through it but it's fucking hard to do that when all you do is curl into a ball and build walls around yourself! You don't want to let anyone in!"

"Maybe because every person I do let in hurts me!" I admit. My tears are down my neck and my throat is sore from screaming on top of crying most the night and morning. "Every person, I have let get close to me, something has been ripped away from them or me. My step dad is dead. My mother is dead. Niall is dead. Luke is away because he actually has a life. None of my friends have been through what I've been through. And you." I press my finger into his chest forcefully. "I have put all of my love, life, and soul trying to hold onto you and make sure you're happy all while trying to maintain myself, but I became so wreckless with myself because all I wanted was you."

I poke my finger harder into his chest.

"I've always wanted you. It's always been you. I forgave you countless amounts of times. I trusted you with my life that day you came and picked me up from my school even though I shouldn't have. The reason I did was because when I was with you, I felt safe! I felt secure when I was with you because I knew you would protect me from Tim. I was so caught up in your good qualities that I couldn't find a bad one. I fell in love with a boy who was my safe haven, but now, now all I feel is afraid and scared and lost. I'm confused and fearful of the world, one reason being because I know you've left, several times, and I'm scared that you're going to do it again and I'm scared that if that happens, you're showing me, you don't care anymore."

He stand in awe in front of me absorbing every word coming from my mouth.

A giant weight has lifted from my chest that I didn't realize was weighing me down before, but now, all I want to do is hide and cry more than ever before.

"I don't want to lose you but I can feel you slipping right through my fingertips." I sob.

"What makes you think you're losing me?" He asks. "I'm right here."

I look him directly in the eye.

"For how long?" My voice cracks. "Until you leave again, leaving me behind for several more months until I am practically shipped out to LA like some kind of package?"

This time he's the one who bursts into a fit of tears. He lets out a sound coming first from his throat and then his mouth. His hands find the sides of his face as he covers his eyes wiping them leaving behind a deep red color.

I watch him with tears blurring my eyes as they slip over the rims and fall down my cheeks.

The room is silent as the rain pounds against the window filling the hollow sounds.

"I think it's time, Harry." I suck in a deep breath.

"Time for what?" He sighs.

"It's time to say goodbye to each other."

He shakes his head as his eyes water up again and I stand my ground looking directly at the light green colors I fell for.

"No. No. No. No. Don't you do this. I'm not leaving."

"If you don't leave, then I will." My lip shakes.

"Brianna. Don't do this. Please. I love you."

"I know you do." I take a step forward, cupping his damp cheek in my hand and he holds onto my wrist. "I love you too. I love you so much that I need you to go and let me live my life on my own. I need to rebuild my life on my own this time to prove to myself that I actually can do this. You need to go and make big things in the world. Go and do what you love."

"I'll come back for you." He says. I shake my head.

"Don't." The word comes out quiet. "I don't want you to."

"What are you doing?" He asks dumbfounded as he shakes his head.

"Being my own person for once." I force a weak smile on my face trying to reassure him.

I link my hands into his, our fingers crossing over one another's.

"Can I at least have one last kiss?"

Usually I would expect a cheeky smile after his comment, but this time I don't get one. I get a serious look.

I lick my lips and keep my eyes trained on his.

Our lips meet slowly and softly. His hands cups my face pulling me closer and I savor the taste of mint on his lips mixed in with the saltiness of both of our tears interlacing with one another's.

"I was going to show you how much I really loved you. I was going to prove it to you." He says.

"Then do it now, by letting me go." I cry.

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