A State of Mind- Tig Trager Fanfic

Ch. 9

Zara POV

I wasn't an idiot. I knew Alex would follow me as soon as realization hit him. I also knew that my brother and father were still out there, somewhere. I stopped at the hotel close to the clubhouse. Alex pulling in behind me. 

"Baby doll! Wait!" He ran up to me before I could leave the truck. 

"What?" I said it in a flat and harsh tone, one I knew hurt him by the look in his eyes.

"I'm so, so sorry. I know that's not enough to take it back. I wish I could. I wish I wouldn't of done it. I know my words can't change anything but....I need you Zara. That 'I need you so bad it kills me' kind of need. I can't lose you, us, this baby. Please. Please don't leave me." I heard his voice crack at the end. A few tears escaping his eyes. 

I sighed and moved towards him, placing my hands on his face and making him look at me. "I'm not leaving you Alex. I just need some space. Time to figure shit out. You have me, this baby. If I wanted to leave I would have gone to have this crow on my chest blacked out. Not stop here. I won't lie. It hurts like hell that you slept with one of those whores. Did I do something wrong? Am I not enough?" 

He straightened up and grabbed my hips, "No baby. No. You are more than enough. More than I deserve. I was drunk and high and completely stupid. I know that's not an excuse. There isn't one. I'll give you space but I need someone else to keep an eye on you. You're father and brother are still out there." 

"Okay. I'll get a room with two beds. Send two guys. One can stay in the room with me, other outside. And I have the boys. Just give me tonight. I'll be back tomorrow. But you're going to have to work your ass off before you even think about kissing me again. Got it?" 

"Of course. Yeah. I understand. I love you so much Zara. I'm so sorry I fucked up." He kissed my forehead and pulled me into a hug. I let him have it and hugged back. 

I went and got a room with two beds. Alex followed me up along with the boys. I said he could stay until the other guys got here. As we waited I changed into some sweatpants and one of Alex's shirts I stole. 

"You're killin' me doll." Alex watched from the other side of the room as I got changed.

"Good." I smirked as I looked to him, he ran his hands over his face and groaned. 

"Part of my punishment?"

"mmmhmm." I went on doing what I needed before we heard some knocks on the door. 

Alex moved to answer it, explaining again what needed to be done. I nodded to him as he walked away back towards his bike. 

"You got redressed in front of 'em, didn't ya lass?" all I had to do was smile at Chibs and Juice and they laughed. 

"That's mean. But fair." I nodded to Juice. He moved a chair outside to sit watch as Chibs got comfortable on the other bed, watching TV with me.

***************

Around 3 p.m. the next day we headed back to the lot. Jax calling Chibs and Juice back. I was in front of them as we went back. Stopped at a red light I looked back to see the guys. The light turned green and I moved forward. Halfway through the intersection another car sped into my side. The force sent my head into the steering wheel, air bags deploying. My leg was pinned between the broken in metal door and the steering wheel. My ears were ringing from the blow to my head. In my daze I looked back and saw the boys. Whimpering but didn't look too hurt. I could hear yelling and more engines in the background. My head was spinning too much to focus on anything. I could see people running towards my truck. I looked to the side and saw the other car was gone. 'How was it gone? It hit me. The damage would've been bad. Right?'