Sombre Thoughts

Black and Blue

I don't know what I did to make her so mad, to make her leave. She was happy once. She used to laugh. I would hear her laughing from across the house, but lately all I heard was crying. My mother wailed ever so loudly. They would always fight, my parents. What were they fighting about? They were fighting about me, the way my dad was playing with me. She always asked how much it hurt. It always hurt, but I didn't want to tell her that. I would be black and blue for weeks.

He would always hit me on my face, my back, sometimes grabbing my arms really tightly and squeezing. He was only playing, wasn't he? Before he would play with me, he would drink two bottles of something hidden in a cupboard I wasn't allowed into. Our neighbours always complained about the screaming.

"You're a drunk! All you care about is your whiskey!"

"Leave him alone!"

"Don't you touch him!"

"Stop!"

He never stopped.

We haven't played since dad went to prison, wherever that is. Then there's was just the three of us, Teddy, mom and I. Then there was just the two of us.

All of a sudden, one gloomy night, mom carried out bags and started packing them into the car. I ran out to her. She gave me a tight hug, peck on the cheek and told me she loved me.

She got into the car and drove off, but she left me behind. She drove fast and viciously, like escaping the scene of a crime. I grabbed Teddy and hugged him. He was all I had left. Where was I supposed to go? I was only a kid when she left me.

I don't know what I did wrong. I wish I knew.

My name is Timmy and I was only ten years old when I was abused, abandoned and alone.