Where Have you Been

Chapter 2

I stayed enveloped in his arms awhile longer. I've never been so close to such perfection, just being close to him brought upon two very different emotions; the feeling of wanting to be closer to him, and the feeling of wanting to push him away. If I had banked upon the latter I would have been unsuccessful anyways, since Sasuke seemed defiant on letting me go anytime soon, probably until I felt completely better.

I nuzzled my face closer into the kajinari's neck, inhaling his scent. He smelt of a midsummer night, like the middle of a forest made just of pine trees. Most would decide to smell a bit sweeter, while others smell differently. Yet, him being different than others didn't put a dent in his perfection because the scent amplified his perfection, everything he did made it more and more obvious that he was perfect and there was nothing else to it. If you took everything perfect in the world and channeled it into one singular being that being would be Sasuke. His soft hair, dark onyx eyes, the way his lips were perfectly shaped and kissable. How he stood perfectly straight and his his hips weren't too wide, his waist not too thin. His thighs not overly large, yet they weren't like sticks. His arms weren't sticks either. Hes so perfect yet hes clinging onto imperfection.

My own imperfection... It made me want to vomit thinking about it. Ever since Kindergarten, I've known I was imperfect. I was ugly. Flabby. Disgusting. Unkempt. Thin. Underweight. Any word you could think of, I was it. I didn't shower because of my Dad, so my hair was greasy and knotted. I barely took care of myself, I was surprised I was even alive. All my clothing was baggy and untidy, and during the days when you would pull another persons pants down in school as a prank, I was the target of that. My stupidly whiskered cheeks, and my stupid blue eyes and my stupid, stupid blonde hair. Maybe if my features weren't so brightly colored then I would be left alone but no, of course I have to have bright everything. I have to look noticeable, I have to look bright and happy. I used to have a reason to live, and that was my mother. She told me she hated her own hair as a kid, but when she met her kajinari he told her it was beautiful. That kajinari was named Kurama, and he's who my dad blames for my mothers death. Kurama was a giant nine tailed fox, if he stood on his hind legs he was as tall as my father. He stayed around for about a week after my mother died, yet was kicked out by my dad, because he though Kurama killed Mom. The only reason Kurama didn't kill the man was because mom wouldn't have wanted him to, and he didn't want me to be an orphan. Nowadays, I wish he had killed my father. My mother loved Kurama, because he saved her, right before my father met her. My mom used to say that no matter how much you hate something about your own body, there is nothing you can do to change it. Her exact words were, "Sure, there's plastic surgery, hair dye, contacts, makeup, but when you find someone you truly love, they'll want to see your true face, and since you've been covering everything up, you'll never be comfortable around them. That's why, no matter what the other kids said, I never changed. I didn't cover up my hair. Because its a part of me, and its better to accept your own body now than to reject it, because then it'll be harder to accept later on."

I know this isn't what my mom wanted for me, she wouldn't have wanted me to hate the way I look, she wouldn't have wanted others to hate me. But, I'll give her one thing: kajinari's are the greatest creatures to ever exist on this planet.

I finally let myself relax into Sasuke's arms, smiling into his shoulder.

"What are you thinking about?" Sasuke asked, keeping his voice quiet so he was not heard by my dad.

Though, I kept quiet, instead focusing on how his clothes were very revealing. I quickly diverted my thoughts, instead diverting them onto the fact I was going to be late to school if I didn't leave right about now. I was still in my school clothes from yesterday. Even though they were wrinkled, it didn't bother me. It just made it easier for me to just run out if my house and get to school.