I Tasted Freedom, I Wish I Hadn't

Sleep

Once I had finally got used to living in the real world, I could dream again, sometimes I dreamt of Jordyn. Speaking to him in dreams gave me a slight glimpse of the freedom that me and him had together when we left, but every time it always ended up with tears, crying in my bed, mid dream, wishing that he would come back. Small things did begin to get easier at first, not noticeable but still made a huge difference, then it all began to lift, the crushing weight from on my shoulders had been slowly taken away piece by piece. Seems like a relief but in truth when it’s taken away it also takes a piece of me away with it, leaving even less than what there was in the first place. But regardless it still felt easier and easier by the day, not faking the smiles and most of the laughs became genuine. Sleeping was easier and easier over time, how long didn’t matter, the time flew by. The meals I was given were easier to force down. It was all just because of Jordyn, the memories of him not going away, a comfort blanket almost. I can still remember when he would walked in and I was just about to drag a stanley blade down my arm, he ripped the blade from my hand and threw it away without a single word. He had always been that way, with his caring, forgiving, golden heart, I guess he gave too much and that led to his death, it was my fault that we left, if I didn’t call him then he wouldn’t have left and got hit by that fucking driver, they didnt even take a second look at what they had caused. They drove off and left my best friend, my only friend dying alone on the road. I slowly lowered my head to the soft, warm bed, the smell of freshly washed cotton and the consuming nature of the bed filled up every empty space in my mind. It was time to let go of it all and move on, move on from the pain and the hate. In the end I fell into a deep, endless, dream filled sleep.