The Inevitable: Johnlock Fanfiction

He Needs Me

POV: Holmes

I know that most people consider me emotionless, and I agree. I don't fall in love.

I sigh, picking up the violin and I start playing something I composed last week. I feel so guilty about what happened to Mary. John doesn't deserve this. He's already experienced the grief of having one person close to him die, and now he is mourning again.

I imagine what John must be feeling. Seeing the love of his life leave him, the one who was going to be with him forever. I imagine the emotions tumbling through him, and I don't realize until I open my eyes that a tear had rolled down my cheek. 

Tomorrow I'm going to talk to Molly, Lestrade, and Mrs. Hudson. John needs more people to look after him, and I can't be that person, I'm not good at comforting people. And what John really needs right now is people who can help him get through this.

I look out the window and watch the rain. I loved Mary too, for John. If I had gone to Eastern Europe, he would have been fine with her. He would have someone who can give him a proper life and someone that can give him an adventure. A faint smile dancing on my lips, I remember the first time I met Mary. I knew from the start that she had a secret, but she and John were too happy together for me to deduce her any further. Besides, she was the first girlfriend of John that I didn't feel contempt towards. I could see from the start that she was clever and intelligent. My mind wanders to when I was about to leave on the plane, I told John my full name to make him laugh. I smile, he is absolutely going to use my name against me now.

The smile slips from my lips when I remember why I'm not in Eastern Europe right now. Moriarty. He is always threatening my destruction. Every time we met it ended with me or John nearly dying.

Shaking my head, I pick up my violin again to forget about him. He hasn't done anything to provoke me, or to get my attention. Right now, the only thing that matters is that John is okay.

I wake up early in the morning to get Molly, Lestrade and Mrs. Hudson. I phoned Harry and Mike Stamford, but they didn't pick up. I suppose that three will just have to do.

Molly checks in at St. Barts around 7:30, so I decide to wait twenty minutes in her office until she comes in. She walks in, looking tired. She clearly didn't get any sleep last night: working overtime. Her ring finger is rubbed raw. She called Tom last night and she cried afterwards.

Molly eventually notices me standing near her desk, and she smiles brightly, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

"Molly," I chide, "You need to sleep more." 

"I'm okay, I just needed to work more to make this month's rent," She says quietly to me, setting down her bag.

I nod, feeling slightly uncomfortable that she shared such private information with me. I feel helpless, because I know Molly wouldn't let me give her money. I sigh at the complication of this, I'll just have to bribe her boss and ask him to give her a raise.

"Molly, there's something I need you to do for me. John, he's not in good shape right now. Mary died yesterday. And he is back at Baker street, probably passed out now. I need some people to take care of him." I explain to her, hoping that she would be able to help him. She already knew what happened with Mary since she was the one to get her in the morgue. 

"Of course!" She grins, and gives me a hug. That's what I love about her. She is always so positive. It makes me feel relieved. She says that she'll stop by and talk to John and bring him some cookies as soon as her shift ends.

"One more thing Sherlock," Molly says as I am about to leave, her face becoming more serious. "I am more than glad to help John out. But, you are his best friend and he came to you when he needed someone. I don't know why you think that you can't do a good job of comforting him. But, I know that you would be the one that could help him the most."