behind your eyes

1

Ella Stewart :
Let me tell you a little bit about myself, i'm a senior and everyone calls me a nerd and they judge me lots of times because they're jealous of my grades but idc. A lot of fake friends whome I trusted and loved a lot seduced me (let's just say they never loved me,according to my grades they lied to me to be friends with me for whatever reason but they just wanted to find out personal informations about me so that they could tell the whole school about how the BeSt STuDEnt is having a rough time in her life and laugh at me, but I always stand up for myself no matter what, I'm really blunt and wouldn't let anyone humiliate me)
so after many hours of crying each day I'm here sitting in my classroom, acting confident and energetic. Also I'm a humorous person and I don't like talking about my emotions and feelings with anyone cause i have no one to talk to ,at least no one cares.
But after all I'm optimist and I think I've been so strong dealing with everything and I stopped caring about the haters and people who keep backbiting me and I'm here trying to live my best life after losing a lot of friends and dealing with a lot of things.
The only thing I've been focusing on is my future and studying, I literally cry when I get a B but it has a strong reason behind it. People mess with me for months because of my mistakes on my exams. They feel like my grades shouldn't be personal like theirs. So that's why I always focus on my grades, it's the spotlight in school and the only reason people act like they care about me is that I'm smart. (not to be cocky lmao)
So totally I don't believe I can trust anyone other than myself. I am the only person who's there for me when I'm so sad. I do have a bff but the only reason I'm with her is that she's funny and my only friend actually. It's just that she never thinks logically and wisely so I can't get any moral support from her. But I like her anyways she's so gorgeous and everyone else loves her...She's just really beautiful and rich and sporty and confident. Unlike me who is dying from insecurities. I could never love myself nor anyone else. And I think even if I look so great (acting happy) I've cried the most tears without anyone else ever noticing.
My parents are so strict and overprotective that I also cried because of what they told me and how they were the ones who made me insecure. I have a 21 years old sis who I don't get along with really well, luckily I moved in my own apartment this year with my bff Harper and my dog Lily and I don't have to worry about my family anymore, I love them but sometimes I just can't stand them .I have no one... really

I just hope someone will appear and change it all for me and remind me of how amazing
life actually is

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A/N
I hope you enjoy the story ! I'll try to update as soon as I can
Love ya ❤