If Tomorrow Never Comes

-6-

Present

River and Peter looked at each other, complete shock written on their faces as they stop dead on their tracks accidentally, leaving the guy, in all honesty, both curious and scared.

"W-why are your faces like that? W-what's wrong?" The guy asked weakly. "Don't worry. It's- we have good news" River and Peter whispered as they smiled.

River sighed as they- Peter and the boy, arrive to the house.

"WE'RE FINALLY FUCKING HOME" River shouted as they locked the front door after the other two came in.

Noe and the others rushed towards them in happiness. "Before you all go raging on, this is Haven and N-" River said but before they could finish, was cut of by Haven and Nico.

"DECLAN!" Haven shouted as she ran to hug the older boi who's apparently called Declan.

"Oh my goodness you two are okay" Declan sighed in so much relief as he accepted Nico into the hug.

"That's why they won't explain" Yuri said as he welcomed River and Peter back.

"Yeah" River smiled.

––––———––––

They were all comfortable in the makeshift living room, as if in a meeting.

"So..." Declan started, who was sitting in the middle of Haven and Nico, who were still hugging the said boi.

"Would he be staying?" Noe whispered to the person near her, who was unfortunately River .

River shushed Noe and punched her lightly, "Be polite. He knows what he's doing, and he deserves a shelter. He has two kids to take care for, genius" The said teen replied as Noe rubbed the spot River hit.

"Sorry" Noe whined. River felt guilty and said, "I am calm, and so am I"

Everyone looked at her sympathetically and nodded, of course except Declan and the kids, who didn't know about River's disorder.

"See, River has borderline personality disorder. They say that when they turn back to 'normal' " Peter explained, doing exaggerated air quotes on the word normal

"Oh, I'm sorry I kind of mistook that somehow" Declan scratched the nape of her neck. River smiled, "it's fine" they said.

They proceeded to chat for the rest of the day, everyone feeling happy.

––––———––––

River was preparing dinner for everyone as the rest do their own things.

"Dinner's ready" the teen shouted as Yuri helped her prepare the food and Jerwin helped set up the table.

They all gathered to the dining room and everyone sat down around the makeshift table just enough for everyone.

As they ate, River slipped away into the living room, they were done eating anyway, they thought.

No one noticed as the non-binary teen continued to go to their secret place in the hideout everyone calls home.

River climbed the piles of stuff in the corner of the room they were in and opened the trap door, lifting herself up and onto their mini secret paradise.

The room was filled with the things River adored; their box full of memories; her old stuffed husky toy, her old guitar and pick with the tuner and capo, a portable piano, and so on. With some old blankets scored across the floor, I guess you'd call it a loft, more of less.

Another thing that they were absolutely greatfull for, the somehow 100 layered bulletproof glass, meaning they could look out until the world without getting hurt easily.

River sat down near the window and, getting their guitar, played a song they had made.

"Oh, can you tell me, can you tell me the way the story ends?
A monster in my heart
A ghost inside my chest
I'm broken down, the world around us
Surround my suffering
You smile and laugh at me
But you don't see a thing"

They started to get teary as they continued.

"Damaged and broken as I am
I'm trying not to breathe
Unraveled, I'm not unraveled by
The truth I finally see, freeze

I'm breakable, unbreakable
I'm shakeable, unshakeable
Unraveling since I found you"

They let the tears flow down finally yet they continued, breathing unevenly.

"And now I'm turning to dust in a world that's twisted
Don't come searching when I go missing
Close your eyes or just try to look away
Don't want to hurt you
We live in a world someone else imagined
The ghost of what's left of me all but vanished
Remember my heart, how bright I used to shine"

They smiled sadly, embracing the fact that nothing will never be the same.

"Entangled in the loneliness
The memory of innocence
It's stinging me, it's breaking me
The pain is spreading endlessly
I cannot move, I close my eyes
I try to breathe, I realize -
I'm paralyzed, I'm paralyzed
UNRAVEL THE WORLD"

They were basically shouting as it was a soundproof room anyway.

"I'm not what I was then
Don't touch the infection
Entwined we will both die
So stay away, and stay alive
I'm breakable, unbreakable
I'm shakeable, unshakeable
Unraveling, I won't infect you!"

They sighed, stopping briefly to wipe their tears.

"Now I'm turning to dust in a world that's twisted
Don't come searching when I go missing
Close your eyes or just try to look away
Don't want to hurt you
We live in a world someone else imagined
The ghost of what's left of me all but vanished
Remember my heart, how bright I used to shine

Please, just don't forget me...
Just don't forget me
Just don't forget me
Just don't forget me
Don't forget me"

They sang, tears harshly flowing down their face.

"We live in a world someone else imagined
The ghost of what's left of me all but vanished
Remember my heart, how bright I used to shine

Oh, can you tell me?
Oh, can you tell me?
A monster in my heart
And now there's nothing left"

River ended, breathing in and out, as if it would help them cure their self from their injured heart.