Q: What is a cheerleader's favorite drink?
A: Rootbeer
Q: When does Friday come before Thursday?
A: In the dictionary
Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
A: Don't worry, I've got you covered!
Q: How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh?
A: Ten-tickles
Q: What kind of bird sticks to sweaters?
A: a Vel-Crow
Q: What washes up on very small beaches?
A: Microwaves
Q: What kind of button won't unbutton?
A: A bellybutton!
Q: Why is the sky so unhappy?
A: It has the blues
Q: Where do boats go when they get sick?
A: The dock
Q: What pet makes the loudest noise?
A: A trum-pet!
Q: What do you call a funny mountain?
A: Hill-arious!
Q: What's easy to get into but hard to get out of?
A: Trouble
Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat?
A: A heavy discussion
Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?
A: You're pointless!
Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
A: Firecrackers!
Q: What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
A: Look grandpa, no hands!
Q: What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer?
A: The Space bar!
Q: Which month do soldiers hate most?
A: The month of March!
Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
A: Post Office!
Q: What runs but doesn't get anywhere?
A: A refrigerator
Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?
A: Because he was out-standing in his field.
Q: What kind of dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch dog.
Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: "Smiles", because there is a mile between each 's'
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet
Q: Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.
Q: What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
A: Oh Snap!
Q: What did one hat say to another?
A: You stay here, I'll go on a head
Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
Q: What did the elder chimney say to the younger chimney?
A: You're too young to smoke!
Q: Why are pirates called pirates?
A: Cause they arrrrr.
Q. What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A. Sue
Q. What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?
A. I just love baskin' robins.
Q. How many books can you put in an empty backpack?
A. One! After that it's not empty!
Q. Did you hear they're changing the flooring in daycare centers?
A. They're calling it infant-tile!
Q: What three candies can you find in every school?
A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
Q: What do you call a man that irons clothes?
A: Iron Man
Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
Q: Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?
A: Because it's a little meteor
Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: He neverlands!
Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed!
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
A: A stamp
Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A monkey!
Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A: A private tutor
Q: What goes up when the rain comes down?
A: An umbrella
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone!
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
A: Because he had no-body to go with.
Q: What did the horse say when he fell?
A: Help, I've fallen and I can't giddy up!
Q: What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?
A: UCLA
Q: Which U.S. State has the smallest soft drinks?
A: Mini-soda
Q: Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
A: All of the fans left
Q: What did the duck say to the bartender?
A: Put it on my bill
Q: How does a squid go into battle?
A: Well Armed
Q: What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
A: Reality
Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend?
A: Because his friend said dinner is on me.
Q: What did the Time Traveler do when he was still hungry after his last bite?
A: He went back four seconds.
Q: What do you call an unpredictable, out of control photographer?
A: A loose Canon.
Q: Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?
A: He takes things personally.
Q: Did the disappointed smoker get everything he wanted for Christmas?
A: Clothes, but no cigar.
