I can't quit you [S.R]

Gone

Disclaimer; angst, a lot of it. The feels, emotions, might make you cry?? Possible language?? Sounds about right for this book.
Lyrics by Ali gate's song it's you are used.

——————

y/n's POV

"You don't get it Steve" You stormed into your shared apartment.

"Don't get what darlin'? Enlighten me then." Steve said hot on your heels.

"I'm afraid- of THIS" you waved your hand between the two of you with teary eyes.

"y/n calm down, just talk to me"

"How can I talk to you about this Steve? How do I tell you that I'm afraid of being loved? Or being in love? Or even that I'm afraid of what it could do or lead to? Or that I'm not enough for you-"

"Stop. Don't say that."

"But it's the truth. I'm so scared Steve" you fell to your knees, crying in-front of Steve like never before.

"You are so much or and everything that I could've ever asked for Y/n, why can't you see that?"

"Steve, we- I can't do this anymore"

"Do what anymore" Steve kneels down next to you holding your face in his hands.

"You don't need a modern girl Steve. You need an Avenger. I love you so much but I can't be what you want, you keep saying I'm everything you've ever wanted but I can't take waiting for you to come home ALIVE. I'm scared that if I get pulled in too deep Steve I won't be able to get out" You stand up ready to walk away.

"y/n please don't do this-" he chokes on a sob while you stand up wrapping his arms around your middle.

"Steve please- you're making this so much harder than it has to be," you say with tears in your eyes blurring your vision trying to pry him off of you but that only made him grip on tighter.

"Please don't break my heart, don't tear me apart y/n, I know how this starts, trust me I've been broken before."

"Steve please," You say crying aloud.

"Don't break me again, I'm delicate, please
y/n, I'm begging you don't break my heart, I've been broken before"

"I'm sorry Steve but, I'm not your happily ever after" You sniffle as his grip finally falls.

You grab your purse from your shared apartment that you've had with Steve for two full years and leave. You hear Steve crying in the distance but block him out when you close the apartment door.

"Did you do it?" The man said.

"Yes, I've done what you've asked now will you leave him alone," you asked teary-eyed once again.

"Thank you for your corporation y/n, come with us now and no harm will be done to your precious Captain," said the HYDRA operative.

At least Steve was safe now you thought. Even if it means he'll never know you lied straight through your teeth or ever love you again, at least he's safe.

—

Steve sat looking stunned in his apartment after the events that had just occurred. How could she? He was certain she was the love of his life, wasn't she? He couldn't find a bone in his body to get up and chase you because he was so weak.

Everything was going good, great, FANTASTIC between them. Then this happens today, out of nowhere. As if a switch flipped in her mind she just- stopped feeling the warmth and love of Steve.

Steve got up and went to the bathroom still quietly sobbing. He moved towards his side of the bathroom, passing yours. His side was so much more masculine. He had shavers, cologne and deodorant. Yours had perfume, bubble bath solution, and all the amazing smelling shampoo that he got a scent of whenever he hugged you after a long mission.

He opened the cabinet below his part of the sink pulling out a velvet box hidden behind some bottles of shaving cream. He took the velvet box and opened it up revealing the beautiful 10-carat diamond ring he bought you months ago, ready to propose but never had the guts to look at it with a frown.

Today was the day he would propose, today was your 2 year anniversary and he was going to prepare you dinner at your shared apartment and when dessert was being served pop the question. But that sadly would never happen now.

Steve took the ring back to the bedroom you shared putting it on his dresser beside the picture of the two of you at one of Tony's famous parties. That was the first time Steve introduced you to his friends. They all loved you, so much. Them hearing the news about you would break their hearts just as much as it broke his.

Steve moved to sit down on the king-sized bed you shared. He traced his hand over your side of the bed settling on your pillow. This was the bed he first touched you on, where he first made love to you. It was the night you moved into his apartment. Steve didn't want to rush things but when he saw you in one of his t-shirts and just a pair of panties he couldn't resist kissing you. One thing led to another and the night was a blur of pure bliss for each of you. That was a night Steve would and could never forget no matter how hard he tried.

Steve got up wiping a stray tear away from his eye going back to the bathroom stripping down. He got into the shower turning it on its hottest setting. He wanted to burn away all the pain, love, possible lies, and the memory of you. He had to move on. He knows you, he knows that no matter how many times he calls you won't answer, he knows that there is no point in searching for you because you need your space, he knows that he lost you... forever. What he did know was that he loved you- no loves you and god help him with moving on.