Only You || Luke Hemmings

5. Danielle

I haven't spoken to Luke in over 4 days now. I saw him around school on Thursday and Friday and I've seen him today, but he didn't make any effort to speak to me; just smiled politely as usual. I also saw him at the weekend walking out of his front door, but again got the same greeting. I don't know what I expected, as I wouldn't want to speak to someone if they acted to me the way I did to him, but I can't help but feel somewhat sad about it all and I weirdly feel like I might miss him? Well, not him, just the company. Yes, I just miss the company, I think?

But regardless of that, what he said to me on Wednesday kind of hurt. However I will admit, it's mainly because I know that what he said was the truth. I know I need to open up to people more and I know I need to let people in, because he's right; I am alone and I honestly am getting tired of it. But it's not as easy as he makes out. He doesn't understand that not everyone is as sociable and outgoing as him. I find even making small conversation with people really hard, let alone spilling off all of my problems to them. I'm aware that talking to people about your issues is supposed to make you feel better, but I'm not used to discussing things with others, so as much as I want to get to know Luke and tell him about everything, I can't. I'm too scared, and I'm still far from trusting him.

However, I guess he was just looking out for me, which is nice. I still find the fact that he for some reason cares about me hard to get my head around, but I guess I can't really complain. I think I reacted the way I did because nobody has ever before tried to "figure me out" or "help me" the way he seems to be. It's all very new to me, so I responded in the only way I know; trying to push him away. He was just trying to be kind, but my stupid, stubborn, "you don't need anyone" mind set clearly didn't see that. Why am I so incapable of accepting the fact that maybe a little bit of help might not be the worst thing in the world? I feel so bad about the way I treated Luke; he didn't deserve it. I'm so annoyed at myself.

 ~

"You ready to go?" I ask the twins, watching their excited faces as we stand by the front door ready to leave.

I thought I'd take them out for pizza as a little treat. I worked a longer shift at the cinema on Saturday and therefore got a bit more money than usual, so I thought it'd be nice to take them out somewhere.

"Yes, yes, yes!" They yell, jumping up and down on the spot. No matter how bad I'm feeling, just seeing their little faces happy and excited brightens my mood instantly. I honestly don't know where I'd be without them.

"Well, let's go then," I say, taking both of their hands in mine and walking out of the door into the cold winters night.

We're skipping down the driveway, when I suddenly stop as I see someone walking towards us. I instantly recognise the person. It's Luke. He's carrying a bag full of food, so must have just been to the corner shop to get groceries. I don't know what comes over me, but I shout him over.

"Luke, heylo!" I yell, mentally punching myself for my awkward greeting. Oh my god, heylo? What even is that. "Sorry, I meant to say hey, then I started saying hello and, yeah"

"Well, heylo," he says, approaching me and the twins with a smirk on his face.

"Yeah, anyway," I mumble, kicking the ground with my feet, trying to find my words. "I just wanted to apolgize about how I acted on Wednesday. I was rude, and I know you were just trying to be nice. I- I'm sorry." I say to the ground, then look up to meet his eyes with mine.

"Honestly, don't worry about it. I was being pushy and it wasn't my place to talk to you like that. Like you said, we don't even know each other," he replies, not losing eye contact with me once.

Then, without thinking, something comes tumbling out of my mouth. "I'd like to, though," I mutter.

"You'd like to what?" He asks, confusion plastered all over his face.