Regret - Part II

Regret - Part 6

"Sanem can you manage on your own for a day or two?" Sanem looked up from her plate at a very nervous Leyla.
"There is a seminar that Emre Bey wants me to attend with him.. but if you are not comfortable I will stay back?" Leyla pitched the last bit more like a question than a statement. Sanem, always very attuned to Leyla's true feelings, knew immediately how much Leyla wanted to attend the seminar. She was also touched that her sister was ready to let it go to be with her..
"Please I am no invalid abla. You should go. I'll manage just fine... " Sanem's voice trailed off as Can entered the kitchen.
"Good morning Leyla, Sanem." Can said politely before pouring himself a cup of coffee.
"Can Bey that's coffee.. " Sanem exclaimed loudly.
"I am aware... " Can answered calmly
"... I wanted to drink something different today" he almost added that last bit as an afterthought.
Sanem nodded once and looked down at her half eaten breakfast, appetite somehow lost. Since the day she had come to stay at Can's house after her accident, he had been this way. Polite to a fault, he was always aware of everything pertaining to her but never interacted with her directly.
Infact he mostly avoided her and since that first evening, he was never alone with her in the house at any point of time...
Sanem was so lost in her depressing thoughts that she never saw the look of intense longing and pain that flashed across Can's face. By the time Sanem looked up Can had schooled his expression back to polite indifference.
"Actually Can Bey I wanted to talk to you about something..." Leyla smiled nervously at Can.
" I was talking to Sanem about this when you came in. I need to attend a seminar with Emre Bey for a day or two... " Can looked at her blankly as if she was speaking in a hitherto foreign tougue he was totally unaware of.
"...but Sanem said she could manage. she just might still need some assistan...offfff..." Leyla squealed mid sentense as Sanem pinched her in the thighs.
" I told you I can manage didn't I?" Sanem cut in indignantly. " I don't want to impose on Can Bey unnecessarily... " she shut up at the look of barely leashed fury on Can's face.
" Ofcourse Sanem, I am very well aware that you do not need any help from me. Why would you anyway?"
" Can Bey I know you have a lot on your mind regarding the campaign and all... " Sanem said weakly as Can pinned her with an intense stare.
" So you decided to act the martyr? Is it Sanem?" Can asked in a deceptively soft voice that barely belied the anger behind each word.
" Can Bey I... " Sanem tried once again..
" It's ok Sanem. You do not need to worry about me offerring my unwanted help to you at any time. " he banged the cup down on the table and stormed out of the room leaving behind a deafening silence.

" I told you I can manage, why did you have to tell him anything...." Sanem too hobbled out of the kitchen as fast as her legs could carry her leaving behind a very confused and dejected Leyla.

"Ayhan, can you come down and stay with me tonight?" Sanem called Ayhan as soon as Leyla left for the day. She was late owing to some packing that she needed done for her overnight trip. Can had retired earlier to his studies and the door to the room was currently firmly shut.
Sanem hated how angry she had made him that morning but she was also clueless as to why he was so angry. It's not as if he was dying to spend any time with her anyways. He avoided her at all times and only ever ventured into her room when either a member of her family or friends came to meet her. He specifically spent an abnormal amount of time with Osman. They acted like best buddies and Osman often spent more time chatting up with Can than he did with her, it creeped her out. But whereas he was so chummy with Osman, he seemed to absolutely abhorr Sinan. He acted like a lion with a sore foot always hovering and grumbling. Sinan was convinced that Can had a thing for her, if only he knew...
" Umm I have a date with CeyCey tonight, but if its urgent I can cancel it!" Ayhan's worried voice pulled Sanem to the present from her reverie
" No no please don't cancel. Its not important. I just wanted to talk to you that's all." Sanem assured Ayhan hurriedly. She didn't want Ayhan to lose out on her date because of her predicament.
" Are you sure Sanemcim? You sound kind of down. " Ayhan persisted.
" No no. I was just missing you a little that's all.. "
" Only a little? " Sanem heard the smile in Ayhan's voice.
" Yes very little. Now you have a great time and tell me all about it once you are back. " Sanem talked some more before disconnecting the call.
It was one thing to not want to impose on Can but Sanem soon realized that there were things that she just couldn't do by her self. She usually sat by the pool in the evening or walked slowly around the perimeter of the garden. The pain in her legs were persistent but Sinan had adviced her to keep exercising her muscles to avoid complete lock down. Leyla always massaged her legs after her walks as Sinan had demonstrated to her. The only other person who knew the technique was unfortunately Can and Sanem decided she would rather writhe in pain than ask him to help her out. Moreover she wasn't sure if she could bear to be touched so intimately by him!!

Sanem looked up when she heard a knock on her door. Can walked in with a tray filled with mouthwatering dishes all of which were Sanem's favorites. From pasta in meat sauce to succulent pieces of grilled meat. If this was a peace offering it was beyond amazing. Sanem's stomach growled appreciatively, clearly heralding how happy she was to see Can and the food of course. Can tried to keep a stern face but ended up with a goofy smile on his face. He placed the tray by the bed side table and carefully sat down opposite Sanem on the bed. Without wasting any time a very hungry Sanem dug into the bowl of pasta and moaned out loud as the first taste of the sauce exploded into her mouth.
Can completely froze as that moan registered to his already sensitized ears. He swallowed hard and looked helplessly at Sanem as she continued to relish her food thoroughly, completely unaware of the effect it had on Can. Half way through her eating she looked up at a bemused Can and smiled radiantly. She forked a piece of meat and offered it to him. He leaned in casually and without breaking eye contact, closed his lips around the offering. He chewed slowly and swallowed the piece of meat never once looking away from Sanem.
The mood in the room shifted subtly. Sanem forgot to eat. Hell she even forgot to take her next breath all together. Can smiled a tiny smile, a mere indiscernible curve at the corner of his lips, yet so potent that Sanem visibly suddered just by looking at him.
" Are you cold?" Can asked knowing fully well that temperature had nothing to do with her reaction.
" No Can, I mean Can Bey...."
" Sanem..."
Buzzz... Buzzz
The angry buzzing of the phone caused Sanem to jerk back thus breaking the spell of the moment.
She felt hot all over and looked away trying to hide her reaction from Can.
Can took her averted face for rejection and immediately moved away from the bed. When the phone finally stopped buzzing, he walked dejectedly towards the door. He turned once to looks at Sanem, waiting for a sign that she wanted him to stay. Finding none he finally shut the door behind him noiselessly.
Sanem collapsed as soon as Can left the room. Its was if the invisible strings holding up her body just snapped. The delicious food forgotten and any appetite lost, Sanem sat morosely on the bed. She looked at the array of dishes that Can had likely cooked for her and felt an overwhelming sense of loss. Why had he gone to all this pain after the way he had stormed out today morning? Her head full of unanswered questions Sanem got up from the bed and cautiously moved out of the room with the food tray in her hand..

"No Jeyda not today. " Can's voice floated from his room as he talked on the phone.
"Yes I understand he is a busy man but I have some commitments of my own. Tamam. "
"Ok I can make it in an hour but I cannot stay for long.... " Sanem moved away as fast as her legs could carry her with a heavy tray in hand. She banged her already throbbing knee on a table near by and inhaled sharply at the debilitating pain that shot up her leg. There was a dull roar in her head and she heard nothing for a while. She couldn't decide whether the pain was more intense in her heart or in her legs. She somehow made it to the pool and sat on the chair staring ahead without seeing anything. Her eyes felt hot with unshed tears.
"Sanem... " Can's voice caused Sanem to sit up straight but she didn't turn to face him.
"...I need to go out for a while. I...
Well I have a meeting with a probable client... "
Sanem didn't hear a word after the first few lines. Can lied to her. Her Can who hated lies of any sorts, was lying to her about going out for a client meet when he was visiting Jeyda. Sanem didn't know how to react to this revelation. She sat there like a statue, a beautiful marble statue that was completely devoid of any animation or feelings. She must have noded or given some indication of having acknowledged what Can said for he moved away slowly from the periphery of her vision until Sanem couldn't see him any more. She had no idea how long she sat waiting for the pain to subside. Her whole body felt like one giant nerve of pain, but it was the pain in her heart that caused her maximum distress. Her pain meds would lessen her physical pain but she didn't want them gone. She almost craved them at that moment. Anything would be better than this feeling of intense betrayal. Sanem got up shakily from the chair, her muscles screaming with agonizing pain. She managed all of two steps before they just gave away beneath her and she fell face first on the garden floor her last lucid thought Why did Can lie to her? Why?

To be continued....