Regret - Part II

Regret - Part 2

Can turned away from the little window of torture.  He could not watch Sanem in so much pain,  pain he had caused, pain he never wanted to cause. Because hurting her was as good as hurting himself and a sadist he was not!

" Where is Sanem,  where is my daughter? Mevkive came hurtling down the corrider.  Can had never seen her so out of control.
" Can,  son is she ok?  How did this happen to her?  Where you not with her?  Why was she traveling alone... " she collapses on the chair babbling incoherently. Little did she notice just how pale Can turned as she directed these questions at him.
" Control your self Mevkive.  Alla will take care of our dear daughter. She will soon sing and dance merrily like she was doing today morning... "Nihat interjected and tried to console Mevkive.
" Sorry Can bey..My Mevkive is always strong but seeing our dear daughter..." Can didn't wait for him to finish.  He moved away to hide the tears that threatened to spill and to have developed a will of their own today. The distress and anguish in the atmosphere was so palpable that Can felt suffocated in his own skin.  Shame, fear and above all a crushing sense of guilt all but threatened to bury him under their incessant onslaught.

" Our Sanem is a fighter.  She will survive... " Can took a deep breath and turned to face Osman.
" She has to.  She has to." Can felt no shame as his emotions got the better of him and a slow treacherous tear traversed down his face...

" Sanem's operation has been successful but the next 12 hours are critical..." Both Osman and Can whipped around as they heard the doctors speaking to Mevkive and Nihat.
" We will keep her under observation...

" But she is out of danger? " Mevkive interjected tearing up.
" We have done all we can.  The rest is up to Sanem. In such situations a strong will to live is sometimes very essential.  Let us all pray that Alla gives her strength.." the doctors left giving them all a small smile.

" How is Sanem? " Leyla rushed towards their group. Can looked up and saw Emre following her.

Before Can could even react he felt a restraining hand behind his back.
" She is ok " Osman said calmly addressing Leyla.
" We have had enough for tonight...please. " he intoned softly to Can. Thoroughly chastised, Can nodded his head once, turned and walked back to sit beside Mevkive.
" Please go home Mevkive.  I will wait here and inform you once Sanem wakes up. " Can told Mevikve.
" Can is right.  You need to go back home. Leyla you too. " Osman added thereafter.
" I want to stay.. " Leyla started to protest.
" You won't be of any help to her by sitting here Leyla. Moreover Mevkive needs you.. " Can heard the hidden message that Osman tried to convey.
For the first time he saw Osman not as Ayhan's brother or Sanem's friend but as a man.  A man hopelessly in love with a woman who did not see him and likely will never see him in that way...
Leyla nodded slowly and walked away with her head down.

"Now we wait.. " Osman said...
" Yes we wait!" Can replied stoically.

" Who is Can? " both Osman and Can jerked at the question. They both looked up and noticed a nurse waiting earnestly for them to answer. 
" Me.. " Can replied.
" The patient keeps murmuring that name.  The doctors... " Can didn't wait for her to finish and rushed towards Sanem's cabin.

He entered the cabin slowly and the sight before him frightened him more than he cared to admit. All he saw were tubes. The head wound looked ominous and her palour was extremely shallow. His Sanem was so bright.. brighter than the Orion. He couldn't identify the girl lying on the hospital bed.  A mere shadow of his Sanem.

He walked towards her bed slowly and sat down on the stool beside the bed. His trembling fingers creeped towards her pale ones and he lightly brushed them..
"Can... " her voice almost seemed like a whisper, a mere movement of the air but Can heard it loud and clear.
" I am here Sanem.." He wispered urgently close to her ear. He gently kissed her forehead barely visible under the bandage.
" Can... " Sanem called out again.
Can moved as close as the punishing tubes allowed. He hovered near her beautiful face.  A face now devoid of any color, any joy.  He sat back again and slowly picked her fragile hands in his and laced his fingers through hers. Can felt frustrated and angry so angry at his own stubbornness. He felt helpless,  a feeling so alien to him that it frightened him to no end.
" I am here love.. " he spoke through trembling lips.. "I love you Sanem and I will never let you go. You are mine and I am yours. I am lost without you.  Remember the albatross has just one mate with whom he stays for life. You are my life Sanem.. Please come back"...he broke down unable to continue anymore.
Sanem stirred briefly and her fingers trembled in Can's hand once. He looked up and for the first time Sanem's face looked animated, a smile,  a tiny curve at the corner of her pale lips..

To be continued...