Regret - Part II

Regret - Part 8

"I want you to stop keeping things from me Sanem. I need you to tell me everything. This time I want to hear it all from you. Not Emre,  not Aileen, YOU!" Can looked up at Sanem with a determined look on his face. The woman before him was like the wind,  unpredictable, volatile and never quite within his grasp. It drove him to frustrations but it was this impulsiveness on her part that always kept him on his toes. It challenged him constantly to figure her out and he loved every moment of it! Life would never be dull with Sanem he realized with a start. He got up from his crouched position and extended his hand towards Sanem.  She looked from his outstretched hand to his unyielding face and slowly placed her tiny hand on his much larger one. He immediately threaded his fingers through hers and gently pulled her up to her feet. She wobbled a little but Can supported her till she found her footing.
" We can sit in the gazebo and talk" Can suggested.  Sanem nodded but otherwise remained silent.
They walked hand in hand with Can supporting Sanem throughout the short distance. If he was honest, she really didn't need all the assistance,  but he was a guy after all, he liked having her soft body pressed to his side. Her height was just perfect. She was tucked right beneath his chin giving him the perfect access to her sweet smelling hair. He inhaled the subtle fragrance and felt a calm that he hadn't experienced in a long long time.
When they reached their destination, Can helped Sanem climb the two short steps and sat her on the wooden bench in the centre. She looked so vulnerable and uncertain that it tugged at his heart like no other being ever had. He wanted to reach out to her and comfort her. To assure her that no matter what she said today it wouldn't change the way he felt for her. But he didn't do any of it. Sanem needed to learn to trust him,  trust her feelings for him and above all she needed to trust herself. This bitter exercise was more for her benefit than his.

Sanem sat quietly. She felt too vulnerable, too exposed. The gazebo was warm but she felt a chill as she contemplated all that she needed to say,  all that Can needed to hear. She realized that this was the moment she had always feared to face, the moment that starred perpetually in her recurring nightmares. She knew what the outcome would be. No one could be that forgiving. She was entangled in the web of her own lies and in her naivety she had caused more harm than good. Yes she had been waylaid by Emre Bey but even when she had realized that he wasn't the good guy and had spouted only lies about Can, she had not taken the whole truth to Can. She had stayed silent and in doing so had dug herself a deeper grave. On her part, the only argument she could come up with was that she loved Can too much and couldn't bear the idea of being separated from him. But a relationship whose foundations were half truths and deceit would never stand the test of time. The truth, no matter how soul destroying, needed to come out. She took a deep breath and looked up to were Can stood silhouetted against the setting sun.

" Before I narrate every thing Can I just need for you to know one thing, I never intended to cause you any harm. I did what I did because I naively believed in the projected false image of your's. Every moment I spent with you made me question my beliefs. I realized too late that what I was led to believe about you were lies but by then it was too late... " Sanem paused and gave Can a beseeching look before continuing.
"...it was too late and I..... " Sanem stopped once again.
"and you... " Can prompted softly. He appeared almost relaxed if one overlooked the tell tale marks of tension on his face.
"...and I had fallen in love with you! " Sanem whispered the last bit.

Can felt electrified. Those softly uttered words acted like balm on his straining nerves. He wanted to whoop with joy. She loved him,  that's all that mattered. They could overcome all obstacles together. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he completely missed the fact that Sanem was still speaking.
"...I didn't know why I did it. This time I could have prevented the whole mishap from occurring. I...I just...I felt insanely jealous. Guliz's mention of Polen acted like a catalyst too potent and I.." Sanem was openly crying now.
Can looked puzzled. What was she saying? What had she done that was so bad and that too out of jealousy? He slowly recalled the conversation with Emre on that fateful evening when Sanem met with an accident. Emre had insinuated that Sanem had played a major role during one of his darkest encounters...
"I gave the photographs to Emre Bey.  I had no idea what he was planing to do with them... "
" Which photographs?" Can cut in.
Sanem looked at Can with eyes brimming with tears, tears that were now rolling down her pale cheeks.
"The ones that you took of mine for the Woman of Substance shoot." Sanem finished on a painful sob.
Can stood like a statue. No it couldn't be. Sanem couldn't have betrayed him like this surely. He must be missing something vital here...
"You gave them to Emre you say? " Can spoke into the thunderous silence.
" Yes. He asked me to give them to him I had no idea that he was planning to set you up the way he did." Sanem rambled on.
Can looked stupified. His own blood turning against him to this extent? Did Emre hate him so much? When had he become this bitter,  twisted version of his former self?

While Can contemplated the implications of Sanem's revelation,  Sanem felt her whole world crashing down around her.  Surely Can hated her. He couldn't even look at her now. Her worst nightmare was slowly turning into a cathartic reality.

Can turned away from Sanem. He didn't want her to witness the distress he felt. Yes he had wanted the whole truth but not in his wildest dreams had he bargained for such dark and bitter revelations. He needed time to digest this. He had nearly lost his identity following the fiasco with those photographs. Had Emre truly wanted to hurt him so? Had it not been for Sanem,  he would have lost his photographer license for good...he shuddered just recalling those dark days.

Can may have wanted to spare Sanem from showing open hatred but he couldn't hide his body's reaction from her. He was surely appalled and it made him physically ill to be anywhere near her, a belief that only solidified when Can slowly walked away without saying another word to Sanem. She sat there alone with her intense misery for company. But for the first time in a very long time she felt light too. There were now no more lies, no more secrets between Can and her. It was another matter that no love existed between them too. She had opened her heart and laid it bare for him. But he sadly couldn't move past her starring role in his almost downfall. Sanem took out her phone from her coat pocket and made a call.
" Hello Osman.  Can you come as soon as possible? I am ready to leave. Yes you heard it correctly, it is time I went back home.... "

To be continued...