Pocketful of Poetry

A Love Letter to the Past

A Love Letter to the Past

I wish you could have come with me. Here, if I have the slightest bit of a happy thought, I smile and laugh, turn to you to tell you about the time when I was crying because I thought you had left me and how we laughed afterwards at the thought of us ever separating only to find that it's not funny anymore. You were the first time my father had ever seen me cry, and he told me that you were good for nothing, that you were behind me now... and he's right. You're not here anymore. But the sad thing is, I don't think you were ever by my side. You always faltered, lingered for a few seconds before catching up to me, but I move too fast for time to catch up, and you are times in which I thought I lost my sanity, times I do not want to leave but times I cannot bear to stay in. You are an awfully lonely place to be, and I thought-foolishly-that I would be enough, that my arms would be strong enough to hold enough pain for the both of us. But it was your arms that embraced me, encompassed me, your arms that led me to this place of uncertainty. I do not wish to blame you for my sadness, it was always there. But I will not deny the fact that you are the reason why I paid attention to it so much. Maybe it was because you were glorified by those who loved, those who were infatuated with the idea of going back to simpler times, but you are definitely not simpler times. You are an oversimplification of wars and battles of the mind. You are not perfect for a girl with a complex mind and simple desires. I cannot bear you on my shoulders anymore.

I loved you.

A/N: I was originally going to save this for a different book, but I think that this is the closest thing to home right now.