My Redemption

Chapter 6 - Pudding

The night began as it always did. I unlocked the door with my line of regulars right behind me. I hit the lights and stereo bringing the silent, dark bar to life. I made my way behind the bar and started fixing my regulars their drinks. After the first hour things slowed down, and it was just my regulars and me. I decided to turn on the news to have something to watch between making drinks. It was just the same old news that was on every night of corrupt politicians, batman saving somebody, and somebody getting robbed when I saw the headline that caused the glass I was drying to slip from my hands. The crash of it shattering breaking me of my stunned reverie. The screen displayed a building engulfed in a complete inferno clear on the other side of town. It was some abandoned building that a gang used to inhabit. On the road in front of the building, spelled out in lighter fluid was the name Joker. I made my way to the back to sweep up the glass and avert my eyes from the tv screen. I sweep most of it up, but I end up having to pick up a few stubborn pieces that I had to pick up by hand. Until I get a sliver of glass stuck in my hand when I tried to dump them into the garbage. I tried to get the piece of glass out, but without tweezers it was hopeless. I grabbed a bandage from the office to staunch the bleeding and decided to deal with it when I got home.

After a couple hours that seemed to drag by, I kicked everyone out promptly at closing time and was out the door ten minutes later. I walked quickly, anxious to dig the painful sliver of glass out of my hand, and for once it was an uneventfully peaceful walk home. I stormed through the door of my apartment and headed straight to the bathroom. I'm rummaging through my medicine cabinet for my tweezers when I hear the sound of someone clearing their throat. I jumped about a foot in the air and heard a chuckle as a result.

"Didn't mean to scare you there, Doll."

"You didn't scare me. I was just focused." I said indignantly and quietly finally finding the tweezers and began to take the bandage off the palm of my throbbing hand. How such a small thing could be such a pain was a mystery.

"What happened?" He said staring at the blood in the palm of my hand and quickly walking over taking my hand in his to look it over.

"I saw your stunt on tv, dropped the glass I was drying, and then got a sliver picking up the pieces. No -biggie, just couldn't get the sliver of glass out without tweezers and I didn't have a pair at work." I got to grab the tweezers but they're already in his hand. He sticks my hand under the faucet causing a slight sting. He proceeds to bring my hand closer to his face, I can just feel the rush of his breathing on the tips of my fingers and he focuses on the sliver. He pulls it out effortlessly and sticks my hand back under the running water while he grabs a new bandage.

"Thank you." I say in a whisper.

"Sorry for the shock of the late-night news."

"Yeah, I thought you'd raid the fridge, not the town." I said with an eyebrow quirked at him. I'm rewarded the small smirk in return.

"You didn't have any pudding, so I took a walk."

"You know, there's never a dull moment around you."

"I am all about chaos, Doll." He challenged back.

"You know, technically it's my turn to ask a question." I made him wait a few seconds in silence to build his anticipation before continuing. "It's a very important question. What kind of pudding did you get?" I ask before breaking my serious expression into a smile. He rewards me with a smirk before answering.

"A pack of chocolate and a pack of vanilla." I smiled at the thought of curling up on the couch with some pudding and continuing our little game of 20 never ending questions, but then I remembered his little adventure and notice that he was a bit more pale than when I left him.

"Let me double check you're stitches, Mr. Chaos." I said lifting up his shirt to get a look at the possible destruction he caused once again. He flinched the second my fingers tips had brushed against his skin. I elected to ignore it figuring he hadn't had a caring touch in a long time and no good would come of bringing it up. I wanted to figure him out as much as he wanted to figure out me. "Well, you only ripped 3 this time, but I think the next time you rip one I'll just super glue this wound shut so you actually heal eventually." I tell him. I look back up to his eyes after I didn't receive a witty retort or at least the chuckle I expected he would give me. His eyes were looking in my direction, but I could tell he wasn't actually looking at me.

"Hey, you okay?" I ask him barely above a whisper.

"Huh, yeah Doll, just fine." He said shaking himself out of his reverie. I looked at him for second not believing him for second, but I decided on not saying anything about it just yet. I walked into my room and put on one of favorite vinyl's and lighting a couple candles in the room so I wouldn't have to have the light on. I sat down on my bed getting comfortable and noticed he was standing in the bathroom doorway.

"Why are you so comfortable around me? Any sane person would have run away screaming at the first sight of me. Instead, you've fixed me up more than once, fed me, lied to your landlord, and now you're inviting me to sit next to you in your bed. I don't believe it's just because I saved you, Doll."

"Well, for starters, I never claimed to be completely sane. I guess I just see the man behind the mask, metaphorically and physically. I think you went through something horrendous and tragic and made you who you are today, and as a result you guard yourself so as not to get hurt again. You're careful with the pieces of yourself that you give away and you never let anyone get too close, and because of that I also think you're a bit lonely. I think you started off on this path of 'chaos' and eventually figured there's no turning back. I don't believe that though. I think there's redemption for everyone, including you. I think you just don't want to be vulnerable in the process." He stared at me a sea of emotions behind his dark eyes.

"Why'd you burn down that building earlier?" I asked him quietly trying to change his train of thought. He paused before answering.

"I needed to blow off some steam. It's who I am now, Doll. What was her name?"

I paused, looking down on my left wrist where I had our initials tattooed. JJ. The letters mirrored each other making them look like an anchor, something done intentionally since I practically felt lost at sea without her by my side.

"Joelle." I said, my voice cracking. I began tracing the tattoo with my fingers, a nervous habit I started whenever I felt myself getting lost in my thoughts that weren't too pleasant. I felt the bed dip and looked up to find him staring at my wrist.

"How long has it been?" I manage to choke out, my throat thick from the instant swirl of emotions.

"Since?"

"Since you've let anyone touch you? Every time I've had to touch you to check your stitches you either flinch or are stock still." He's quiet, for a moment before he answers me.

"Eight years." There's pain evident in his eyes now, and it makes me wonder why it had been so long for him. I wait patiently for his question, knowing he wont answer me if I ask him what the cause was or why it had been so long. Or worse, that the question would scare him off entirely. We sat in silence until my eyes began to get to heavy to keep open, and eventually I leaned back against my headboard and fell asleep.