death wish || ✔

.35

isn't it strange that 

the further i get away

from reality, the better

i feel.

i like to think i dont

have a heartbeat,

that biting my veins

is normal.

that looking at pills

knowing if i took too

much, i might not live

which makes me smile,

be happy.

that carrying around ten

blades in my bag isn't

counted as being mentally

unstable.

that drinking alcohol isn't

just because i want to drink

my sorrows away.

that listening to my demons

and being friends with the

voices inside my head makes

me sad, makes me do stuff

i wouldn't do if i was in

"the right state of mind"

but really the demons are good,

and they're the only friends i have,

that never leaves. they're always

there, somewhere.

they never say goodbye.

they never leave.

they're family, basically.

and i love them.

so why would i let doctors

hurt them & eventually kill

them?

[i don't like being alone.]