Shawn Mendes Imagines ♥️

"She is perfect... because she isn't me"

*text message above is important*

I looked at my phone as the text messages came in one after the other. I've sent all his twenty-four calls to voicemail and ignored all the texts he's been sending the past two days. I was heartbroken. The guy I loved for eight months broke me. I haven't left my house in two days. I know there are cameras and entertainment companies waiting outside. It seems like every time I turn on the TV I'm being talked about. The media can not believe what "sweet Shawn Mendes" did and quite frankly I can't either. I always had these thoughts in the back of my mind. Always worried he might hurt me. I just didn't think he was that low and selfish. I thought he was more than that. I thought wrong.

I stare at the last text he sent for what feels like an hour but with how these days have been going might have been three seconds. I'm loosing track of time getting lost in my own thoughts. The last thing I want to do is see him, look him in the eyes, see how he is doing. But, it kills me to think of him sitting there for eight hours hoping I show. As dramatic as it sounds, I know he would wait all eight hours, loosing hope but never giving up. And as much as I hate him right now, I can't let him do that. I can't do that to him because I love him. I love him. I hate how much I love him even after all of this. I go upstairs and decide against putting any makeup on. I stay in the same sweatpants and shirt that he kissed me in two nights ago before he left. He deserves to see what he has done to me. I leave the house keeping my head low and ignoring the camera clicks I hear from all around. I get in my car and drive towards Tim Hortons. I know which one. It's always been the same one. The one where we met. The one he went to everyday because he knew I would be there. The Tim Hortons he asked me out at. Our Tim Hortons. That's where I'm going.

I walk in and immediately see him sitting at our table. The table I was studying at for exams four days in a row. The table that on the fifth day of studying he was sitting their waiting for me with a smile. My eyes grow wetter at the memory. He sees me and his eyes light up. I can tell he didn't think I would come. His eyes darken as he sees my appearance, heavy baggy eyes, messy unbrushed hair, same clothes I've been wearing for two days. He stands up. He doesn't go to hug me or even pull my chair out and I'm glad for it. There is an odd circle of eyes around us. No one wanting to be the person to stare but still interested as if this involves them. He sits down after I do and folds his hands on the table next to his phone and keys. He gets a call from his manager, Andrew, but immediately declines it. Then another, and another. I finally speak up telling him it might be important. My voice takes him by surprise and if it was possible his eyes become even more soft. He tells me that it doesn't matter before shutting his phone off all the way. He looks at me in the eyes and then down to my hands rested on the table. I never took off the ring he gave me. I promised to wear it forever and never had the heart to take it off. I watch as he places his hand on mine before second guessing himself and pulling back. Our eyes meet and none of us talk. Again, I'm not sure about time. It feels like a half hour but was probably only a few short seconds. He breaks the silence speaking, "I'm sorry" before I tell him to stop. He looks confused before I speak again, "I don't want to hear your apology. I-I don't even know why I'm here" I say standing up from my chair, attempting to leave before he speaks up, this time grabbing my hand and leaving it there. "Y/N," I relax at the familiar feeling of his hand on mine before the images flash back through my mind and I remove my hand from under his. "I get it" I whisper sitting back down. I almost think he didn't hear me until I hear his soft voice question what I'm saying. "I'm saying I get it. She's prettier, smarter, famous, she's literally beautiful. She's perfect," I say before continuing, "because she's not me". His eyes immediately flash with an unreadable expression, "no, no, no Y/N this has nothing to do with who you are as a person or the love I had" he instantly corrects himself, "the love I have for yo-"
"No. I won't hear this. You meant what you said and you meant what you did. You don't love me. You might have but you don't any more because if you did, I wouldn't wake up with a call from my best friend asking if I had saw," my voice cracks but I won't cry in front of him, "If I saw the pictures and videos of my boyfriend at a club making out with a model before going up to a room and leaving an hour later hand in hand and clothes a mess". With that, I stood up and grabbed my bag before I headed out.

Outside around thirty cameras flashed in my face as I tried to make my way to my car. Shawn ran out after me allowing me time to get to my car as the cameras surrounded and slowed him down. "Stop!" He yelled and I turned back to look at him. "Y/N please wait!" He shouted across the parking lot before running into the middle of the street not looking to see if any cars were coming. At this point he didn't have too much to worry about, everyone was still and watching our every move. I waited as he ran towards me because as much as I hate him, I do love him and I do want to be close to him. He wrapped his arms around me taking me into a hug full of hatred, love, pain, and care. That's when I broke. I cried in his arms and he held me tighter. I let everything out in his arms and I didn't care about everyone watching. I didn't care that I was giving in. I let it out and he held me tighter as he started to cry himself. I pulled back and started weakly punching him in the chest exhausted from all of the suffering I've been dealing with. It felt so good to just let it out on him and he stood there crying and taking it not even trying to calm me down. After I was done I looked at his crying eyes with mine and he said the last words he would say to me for a long, long time.
"The next guy, he'll treat you better than I did. He'll make you feel like a princess in a way I never could. He will love you like his life depends on it. He won't be such a screw up like me. Make sure he doesn't hurt you. I can't handle you being hurt any more than I already have". And then he walked away and I watched him fighting the urge to run after him, to hug him to say, 'it's all right' and 'we will make it work' because I knew we wouldn't. I couldn't forgive him and I wouldn't. I got in my car and drove for hours on end and when I finally stopped crying I went back home and went through all of his stuff. I started by taking down the pictures of us that hung in my room and replacing the pictures of us that sat in frames around the house. I eventually moved to my closet filled with his shirts and sweatshirts before crying myself to sleep.

Sometimes to this day three months later I'll believe he's in my kitchen making pancakes in the morning like he used to do after an intimate night. Or that I'll turn the corner and see him on the couch with his notebook and guitar. I'll hear his voice on the news and pretend he is talking to me from the other room. But, I know it's not true. It's a false reality. I'll find a guy who loves me like Shawn said three months ago. And when I do, I'll thank Shawn for showing me what I deserve.

Hope you enjoyed! I am extremely proud of and spent tons of time on this one. Make sure you let me know what you think and comment any requests you might have ♥️ ~ Katie