Shawn Mendes Imagines ♥️

Diffrent For Girls

*based on the song*

And he walked out. I leaned against the door frame that he had just existed from and closed the door not allowing myself to watch him get in his car and drive down the streets in the pattern I knew so well that lead to his own home. I took a deep breath in and out trying to steady my breathing and stop the tears flowing down my wet and rosy cheeks.
I walked into my bedroom and noticed the closet door open. I know I shouldn't have but I just could not resist. Walking over towards the closet I continued taking deep breaths, staring at the empty space that once held sweatshirts and shirts that belonged to him. Apart of me knew when I got into this relationship it would not last. I let my guard down and opened up to him about everything I had to say. From stupid rants about what had just happened at the grocery store to my childhood hardships. I felt secured. Even when he was on tour I felt secure because I knew I could walk into my closet and place on one of his large shirts and have his scent surround me. I felt secured.
Funny how times change. The man I love just excited my house and took those shirts with him and now all I can think about is I do not have anywhere safe to go. I can't drive to his house at three AM in the middle of a panic attack and I cannot snuggle in his arms while watching Harry Potter on the couch. I laugh remembering all those nights we watched the same Harry Potter movies together. To be honest, I couldn't care less about what was going on in the movie. I just loved the way his face would light up at the scene he must have already seen a million times and how he could recite every characters exact line like it was his own. He knew the movies better than his own songs. And that little bit of laughter caused me more pain than I could imagine because I would never get to have him walk through my house with the key I gave him and demand we have a Harry Potter marathon.
I called my mom. She loved Shawn and never once did not support my relationship with him. Sadly, the week he breaks my heart she happens to be in another state. We cried together on the phone and talked about almost anything to attempt to get my mind off him. It worked for a few minutes at a time but I never could fully get him out of my head the three hours we were on the phone. By the time I hung up it was ten PM and I absolutely did not want to be alone. I called three of my friends and they came over barring ice cream, hugs, and random movies. We all fell asleep together on the couch all of our eyes wet from tears and hearts stained with laughter. It was Twelve when I woke up to use the bathroom. I reached for my phone curious of the time only to see I was tagged in hundreds of his fan account posts. It wasn't out of the usual until I noticed loads of DMs also. I clicked on the first one I saw.
    "I am so so sorry. I am sure by now you have seen the pictures surfacing the internet and I want you to know the Mendes Army is all here for you. I never would have thought Shawn would do something like this especially to you, someone he always talked so highly about. I was in a relationship and was cheated on too. Although I am not an expert at the whole             world caring about my relationship, I am always here to talk along with tons of other people. We love you, Y/N."
            My heart sank. The only reason people would think he cheated on me was if he was with another girl. While I was here in bed crying, he was out partying and probably having sex with another girl. I clicked off the DM and looked through my tags. Loads of pictures of Shawn with not just one but six girls surfaced. The tears came slow at first before they turned into sobs. I was on the floor crying and yelling at my phone but I couldn't stop looking. He was completely touching their bodies and making out with all six of them in the open. He was grinding against them not even seven hours after he left this very room for the last time. My friends woke up due to my chaos. Emily took my phone away from me not allowing me to see the video of him kissing one girl while his hands fiddled with the others boobs any longer. Riley stood me up and brought me to my bed while Taylor grabbed the ice cream once again. I felt like I could not breathe. I wanted out. I did not want to be in this house any more. I did not want to see his face ever again. I did not want the whole world to care that my ex is supposedly cheating on me. I wanted out. My friends eventually calmed me down and together we talked through everything. We were all falling asleep at 5 AM when I got an incoming call. Emily who was still holding my phone read "it's Camila" with a sympathetic look. I told her I would take the call.
"Y/N" she spoke as soon as she heard me pick up the phone.
"H- he didn't cheat on me" I choked out.
"I know, he called me after he left your house and told me he needed a girl to" she breathed out, "well he said he needed fuck someone". Before I could even respond she went on, "I told him to come to my house and he can talk it through with me, he never showed up".
"It's different for girls" I said and with that I hung up the phone and went back into my room, jumping in bed with all of my friends before falling asleep.
           The next morning I woke up with a text message from Camila saying "I hope you like it". It was a voice memo. I clicked play and heard her singing

She don't throw any t-shirt on and walk to a bar
She don't text her friends and say, I gotta get laid tonight
She don't say, it's okay, I never loved him anyway
She don't scroll through her phone just looking for a Band-Aid
It's different for girls when their hearts get broke
They can't tape it back together with a whiskey and Coke
They don't take someone home and act like it's nothing
They can't just switch it off every time they feel something
A guy gets drunk with his friends and he might hook up
Fast forward through the pain, pushing back when the tears come on
But it's different for girls
She don't sleep all day and leave the house a wreck
She don't have the luxury to let herself go
She won't call just to curse from a wall, she can push
When the going gets tough, yeah, the guys they can just act tough
It's different for girls when their hearts get broke
They can't tape it back together with a whiskey and Coke
They don't take someone home and act like it's nothing
They can't just switch it off every time they feel something
A guy gets drunk with his friends and he might hook up
Fast forward through the pain, pushing back when the tears come on
But it's different for girls
It's different for girls
Nobody said it was fair
When love disappears, they can't pretend it was never there
A guy gets drunk with his friends and he might hook up
Fast forward through the pain, pushing back when the tears come on
When the going gets tough, yeah, the guys they can just act tough
So tough
It's different for girls
It's different for girls

           It made me cry. A good cry. I texted her back saying it is perfect and she responded asking permission to release it. I told her that she may and then she posted a picture on her instagram of a black screen that says "Different For Girls at Midnight" with a 30 second teaser of the song. The day went by easily, I avoided my phone mostly and payed attention to myself. My friends had left in the morning reluctantly but I was confident I would feel better today if I was alone.
              Shawn went live and I decided to watch it. I am glad I did. It was ten minutes long and he explained that yesterday we broke up and then he went to a club and was an asshole. He mentioned Camila's new song and told everyone to support it because it is about how stupid he is. He even mentioned me directly. Hearing my name out from his voice made my heart flip.
"Y/N, I doubt you are watching this. If you are I love you and always will. I am so sorry that I was a dick last night. If you get a call from my mom she will most likely go on about how I am no longer welcome in her house because I am such a quote unquote screw up. I can not believe I just said that in front of 90,000 people. Anyways, I know Camila's song is about you and I know I am a fuck up. Find someone better than me. Promise me you will find someone better than me. Goodnight Y/N"
And he ended the live stream.
    As planned Camila's song came out and instantly got love from girls all over the world. I listen to it every day. It has been three months since that terrible day. I still cry over him, and he still goes out to parties with other girls. I got rid of my phone. Placed it in the bottom of a drawer to never be seen again, at least until I am ready. It's different for girls.