Flight For Peace - On Hold

Chapter 14

 More dragons have returned with others, grins of triumph spread across their muzzles. Along with this, some returned wounded and scarred, their pride dampened when we see they returned alone. Despite this, our flight has nearly doubled in size. But as more and more dragons return, more and more leave. Charity has started sending out dragons to keep recruiting more members for our flight and to talk reason to the leaders of opposing flights.

It's scary. We have no idea who will leave next. Maybe I will, or maybe it will be one of my friends. But I can't blame Charity for this. She has to make the decisions no one else wants to make, and I know that sending out members of our flight is a necessity, even if it scares me to my core.

Some dragons, who are filled with terror and cowardness, despise Charity. They yell and roar at her efforts. They claim that she doesn't care for the safety of our flight, that she doesn't care who lives or dies. And she takes it. I admire her for that. Despite all the hate, all the responsibility that lays on her back, she doesn't give in. She's stronger than I could ever be.

Ashen, who is currently resting by my side, has taken to giving pep talks to the new dragons in our flight. She keeps the air light ignites courage in the hearts of many. Despite the horrors she has seen through her years, she still seems unaffected. Ashen is braver than I could ever imagine being.

And Purity has taken to leading some of the training sessions with Charity. Despite her innocent name and her frail, scarred body, the female dragon is a warrior. She's vicious when it comes to battle. Maybe it's from all the bloodshed she witnessed, or maybe its from all the deaths she's watched. Whatever it is, it has made her a stronger dragon than many in our flight.

Marlyn and Ferox, the two siblings, make sure that every dragon, new and old, feel welcome in our flight. They help our flight feel connected.

Compared to all of them, I feel useless. They help the flight stay strong and united. But what do I do? Nothing, compared to them. I hunt, I train, and I sleep. I can barely get through a full training session without having a panic attack. Nightmares keep me up at the dead of night. I'm holding the flight back.

Ashen must have caught onto my train of thought as she whispers, "Eir, you're doing the best you can. That's all any of us can ask for."

But my best is not good enough. "But everyone else is benefiting our flight. Tell me right now how I help our flight. I bet you won't think of anyth--"

Ashen cuts me off, "You provide food to the members of our camp. You help me train. You help keep my temper under control. You inspired me to help the new dragons in our camp. You helped Charity acknowledge that we need to recruit. You helped bring Purity out of her shell. You have done so much without realizing it."

Her green eyes are staring into my own. I search desperately for an indicator that she is lying, but I can't find one.

"Eir, you are not just another member of this flight. You are family. You are like my sister. I can't stress this enough, no one in this flight thinks you are useless."

"But--"

"You are not useless." The finality in her voice closes the discussion.

---

"How do you do it?"

The sudden question startled Purity. She turns her red eyes to me and tilts her head in confusion, "What do you mean?"

Embarrassment flushes over my scales as I answer, "You have seen so much yet you are still strong. How do you do it?"

Purity, surprising me this time, smiles. "It is not that I got over it, just that I have grown stronger."

I tilt my head curiously, "Stronger? Do you mean physically stronger?"

The older dragon lets out an airy laugh as she answers, "No, Mentally. I still get flashes of lifeless eyes, I still hear the screams of the past, and sometimes I am sure that I feel warm blood trickling down my scales. I still get nightmares of the nights I regret most."

I shiver at her words. Green lifeless eyes staring back at me, blood trickling down scales.

Purity continues, "I'm sure you can relate, to some extent." Her eyes soften at my shaking form, "But it does get better. Eventually, your mind will start to block out some of the worst memories. Eventually, you will become desensitized to other memories. Trust me, it will be okay eventually."

"But it never truly gets better, does it?"

This time, Purity sighs, "It just gets easier."

And with that, the older, scarred dragon leaves me alone. I don't know what I expected. Actually, I do. I expected her to tell me how to get over everything now. To recover this instant. But instead, I am left with the knowledge that it never does get better, it just gets easier.

I do not know how long I sit alone, lost in my thoughts. But it only seems to be seconds before Ferox approaches me. Her white eyes seemed to be looking straight through me.

"Eir, how do you do it?"

I'm shocked at the irony of it all. I had just asked Purity that same question. "How do I do what?"

"Be brave."

I want to say that I'm not brave, but the look on her face keeps the response back. Instead, I prod further, "Why are you asking?"

The gray dragon--that acts younger than me despite being older--responds softly, "I'm scared. No, I'm terrified. What if-- What if we don't stop this war? What if Marlyn d-- What if my brother dies?" Tears begin to well up in her eyes and my chest aches at the sight.

"Ferox, I--" I pause, before continuing, "Everyone is scared, it's just that some are better at hiding it."

"Even you?" Her voice became child-like at the question.

"Even me," I agree. We sit in silence for a few moments before I decide to speak once more, "No one can be sure who will win this war." Ferox tenses slightly, "But we have something that the other dragons do not. We have our souls." A gentle song fills my ears, the song of my soul, "We have the love for the world we live in. We have the connection to the earth that they lack."

"But what if they get their connection back?"

"If they do, they would have joined our cause. The dragons that have become too focused on the war have destroyed the connection to their souls." I echo the words Marlyn told me, "We would have won the war."

The small dragon beside me shivers slightly before asking once more, "And Marlyn?"

"Marlyn is a formidable dragon. I can guarantee you that he will not die without a fight. And if he does die, it will hurt. The pain may never go away, but it will get easier. I believe that you will be strong enough to deal with his loss."

Ferox leans against my side and closes her eyes. Her tense body slowly relaxes and I listen to her breathing. She, like Ashen, is my sister unrelated by blood. I can only hope that all of us will make it through the war.