How Could He?

Diary Entry 9:

10-30-18 (Tuesday)
5:00 p.m.

I made it through the day without talking to Gregory. I saw him in the hall but we didn't speak, and I don't plan to speak with him.

Alyssa seems to love all of it. She gives me bitchy looks all the time. They won't last long, so I'm not worried. And I'm for sure not jealous; I can do better.

As I made it through the day I felt like all eyes were on me. Word has gotten around by now. I just act like I'm fine and ignore all the looks. I'm sure there's a ton of rumors going around, but I don't care. I didn't do anything wrong.

My friends are using this situation as an opportunity to hook me up with someone else, Rhett. They've been trying since last year. Everyone ships us, and it's pretty funny. They say we are the same person. I don't know what I think of him though. I don't really know him. I always deny me liking him, but he is a little cute. I would never tell my friends that though.

But even if I do like him, I'm not looking to date right now.

Every guy I've dated in the past has done some shit like Gregory did. Gregory was definitely the worst though.

And I know people say to not let one relationship change everything for you, and I get that. I don't want this one douchebag to mess me up, but he has. After all these awful relationships, I think I definitely have trust issues. It may take me a while to change that.

7:15 p.m.

I heard a knock on the door, so I went and opened it.

It was Gregory.

I look at him in the doorway as emotions storm over me.

Anger, disappointment, grieve.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

By this time my mom and brother are standing behind me.

He clears his throat.

"I just came here to say I'm sorry." He looks at me, my brother, and my mom.

"I'm apologizing to all of y'all; I really fucked things up. I never meant for any of this to happen. It's all my fault, and I'm so sorry."

He looks nervous. The apology felt sincere, and the fact that he apologized to all of us is great.

I open my mouth to talk.

"Thank you for coming over here and apologizing. It means a lot." I look down at the floor. "I'm not saying I completely forgive you, but I don't want things to be weird anymore."

"Thank you so much Jayden, and I'm really sorry. You deserve better, and I didn't give that to you." He looks me in the eyes.

"Just promise me you'll never do it again." I say.

"I promise."

"Good." I smile at him. "Are we good now?"

"Of course Jay." He hugs me. I pat his back and then back away.

"Bye Gregory."

"Bye Jayden."

He walks out of the door. I look at my family. "I'm glad that's over."

"me too." They both say in unison.

I walk into my room to reflect. I'm glad there's closure, but I'm still a little mad.

I guess the past is the past though, right?