Over The Edge | m.c

90 days

I like to think of myself as the guy that talks others out of suicide, but has a hard time talking myself out of it. I truthfully assure everyone how beautiful, lovely and wonderful they are, and how precious they are to everyone all because I don't want them to feel the same way I do..

Today was another one of them days. We played a couple of songs just for fun and hung around for a little. After the boys had left I was left alone with my thoughts once again. There's nothing I hated more than to hear those voices in my head telling me how useless I am and how worthless I am to everyone. Each day that passes the weaker I get and I'm truly starting to give in to them voices. I believe every little thing they tell me. I still don't know that girls name and it's driving me insane. Whenever the boys aren't around I just feel so upset, empty even. I don't know how to stop it and I don't think I ever will.

I really don't have the motivation to do anything anymore. I don't feel like wasting my energy on the pointless day to day bullshit of life, I'd say sorry for saying those type of things about myself but I'm truly not.