Home

He sat there, alone, wrapping that one final present his mother had asked him to. It was his last task to complete before he could duck away into Seth's his room. It wouldn't be as nice as his own space back in his dorm, but he could use the makeshift solitude. It was less than ideal, his door didn't truly shut, and the room was full of stuff that wasn't his but it didn't really matter.

He was home.

It was well past one before he fell asleep. He knew he was falling into old habits rather quickly but it would be fine. His father's remarks about him sleeping in didn't bug him as much this morning. He knew the longer he was here, the more it would irk him, but for now he'd cope. A text from his boyfriend who was still stuck on campus helped brighten his mood just a bit. Why shouldn't he be happy?

He was home.

One of his aunts was over, but it wasn't the bad one. His mom and his aunt were drinking and reminiscing. They had poured him a drink as soon as he got home. His mom had told her he was gay without his permission.

"It's okay," she slurred to him later, as he turned off the light in her bedroom after tucking her in, "I told her I like Patton so she can't have a problem with it."

Logan had laughed awkwardly, told her goodnight, and left. He didn't understand why he felt so betrayed until he realized his mom had outed him to a family member that may not have liked that he was gay. A family member who loved to gossip.

This time, he was going to video call Patton. Maybe then he'd be able to sleep after the call. He couldn't but he was glad Patton had went to bed before too late and wasn't upset with him for being tipsy.

He was home

The nights continued to grow longer, he'd stay up till two for a couple nights, move to three, and so on till he was staying awake till four in the morning. The perfect schedule, so he would avoid his dad until he went to work. This would only work for a bit, until his father got time off for the upcoming holiday, but until then it was a nice band-aid. Now, all he had to deal with was his mother.

He was home.

Another text from Patton, another call from his mom, another buzz from his phone. It was almost too much. Roman was messaging him, helping him stay distracted with little games that took his mind off of the tenseness in the house, while Virgil was constantly checking in and sending him memes to make him laugh. Logan began to wonder how he'd manage through the entire summer, when these two weeks were practically killing him.

He was home.

He cleaned the house every day, after his dad left, and before his mom got home, and yet his mother still complained. He ignored her claims that no one helped her until he couldn't any longer.

"I cleaned the house before you got home," he snapped, raising from his spot on the loveseat.

"You didn't," she smiled, "You straightened it up, and I appreciate that, but I would like it if the house was clean."

He sat back down, sending another text to Patton about something trivial. Part of him wanted to vent to Patton, get it off his chest, but what good would it do. It would just make him sad he couldn't help. He would be fine. Patton was just delightful and that would be enough.

He was home.

He was shuffled along to his grandad's house to put up a tree. He couldn't help his excitement at the prospect. While his family could be rather... dismal, he had always been his granddad's favorite and the attention would be nice. Until his grandad and uncle started joking about how funny it would be if his other cousin had brought a male as his date. Until his mom thanked him afterwards for not making a scene.

He was home.

Hanging out with Remy was a nice change of pace, and a good excuse to be out of the house for however long he could be. Remy may have graduated earlier than Logan, and moved a state away, but their friendship had held fast, much to Logan's delight. Remy listened to Logan gush about his new friends, Virgil and Roman, and let him go on and on about how lucky he had been to find Patton all while steering him in the direction of a book store.

He was home.

Logan's cousin was over for Christmas, which they were doing a few days early just so Brian could be there. When Logan wasn't home, Brian had been staying in his bed, which would not be an issue if Logan hadn't had to fight him every time they were both home for the bed. Brian was just eight, he could sleep on their couch just fine and not have any issues, but when Logan did so he had to deal with back pain.

Logan's parents would never take sides, but since it was Christmas Logan conceded to his cousin's request for the bed, despite the pain he'd have to deal with. A few cute snap chats to his friends, and then he was resigned to sleeping on the couch. He couldn't fall asleep until five am this time.

He was home.

Logan enjoyed the time he got to spend with Seth, his little brother. The games Seth received were rather enjoyable, even if he did get rather loud when they didn't achieve one of the goals they were supposed to. Logan still had fun, and he knew his brother missed him. He had to fight the resentment though, going into his old room his parents had given away. Did it bug him? Yes, but he couldn't change it. He didn't live here anymore.

He was home.

"When are you going home again?"

Logan grit his teeth and ignored his dad as he moved around the kitchen. It didn't matter if his dad was upset with him, he knew what he could and could not handle, his dad didn't need to try and push him any harder. He knew now though, that asking for less hours at his new job was going to be harder. He regretted telling his parents about how many hours they had him working as soon as school started back. Twenty-five hours the first week school resumes was going to be a lot, especially with almost nineteen hours, and a writing intensive course. It wasn't like his parents would understand how much work it was, but it didn't matter. They knew best, right?

He was home.

His chest had felt tight the entire time he was in his house, the amount of breakdowns he had had so far numbered at three and he was about to lose it.

He really wanted to tell his dad to kindly fuck off. He wanted to tell his dad that he actually did know some of what he was talking about, that he wasn't just here for him to belittle. He wanted to ask for his dad's support, for him to be kind more often than not. He didn't want to have to ask his dad to be nicer when he brought Patton home in the Spring for break, he didn't want to deal with his father baiting him into a fight when he got the chance.

He wanted to go off on his mother, and yet he also wanted to tell her it was okay. He wanted to say he understood, they were friends, while she was Seth's mom. He wanted to say he got it, that he was always independent, but he also wanted to ask why? Why did she let him do everything by his self? Why was she okay with their relationship being more like that of friends? Why didn't she defend his sexuality to family members, when she was eager to tell them about it?

But most of all he wanted to go home.

The home he made, because this wasn't home. Not anymore.

The pressure eased in his chest with the final click of his dorm room door. His parents were gone, his roommate was still with his family, and Logan was finally actually alone. Patton would be home in a couple of days, Roman was going to come up before New Years so they could celebrate, and Virgil was coming over tomorrow to hang out and talk about break.

But for now, he was alone and he could finally sleep. Putting the covers on his bed only took minutes, and then it was lights out. The rest of his unpacking could wait.

He was, finally, home.