Whatever You Need

15.

RAIN

"Bayyon try to take that pacifier out of his mouth." I say as I'm trying to take her and Bahir's picture. This boy is three and still won't get off the binky. It don't matter how many times I throw it away he always end up with a different one. She tries to pull it out of his mouth but he moves his head.

Bahir is in a bad mood today I'm guessing because he has an cold. Ever since he came back from his dad's he's been super sick. It's getting better but it definitely was worst. We are now in front of my friend's Layza's house. She wanted to see the kids and we haven't talked in awhile.

As soon as we walk up the steps as soon as I get ready to knock she opens up with her daughter Bailey right behind her. "Girl I ain't seen y'all in forever!" She says making me laugh. "Hey girl." I say. "Hey niece!! Nephew!" She screams making Bayyon and Bahir smile they asses off.

Everybody loves my kids. "I missed y'all." She says giving both of them kisses. "Hey Bailey girl." I say rubbing her cheeks. "Hi auntie Rain." She says smiling. "Bailey take Bayyon and Bahir upstairs so y'all can play while we talk." Layza says.

"Bahir sick he probably don't wanna go up there. You wanna go Yiddy?" He shakes his head no and lays his head on my chest. I sit on the couch while Layza sits with me. "So what's been going on mama?" I ask.

"Well, yesterday I had an abortion. It was the worst thing ever. It's killing me Rain, and you know I don't like to tell my business to people I barely know. I hate that we haven't talked in awhile. It's been so much going on." She says.

"Wow Layza. Are you serious? Why did you get an abortion?" I ask. I am so shocked, Layza has five kids. Bailey is the youngest. She takes damn good of all five and been doing so ever since we were sixteen. I know she started early.

"It was just so much Rai. I couldn't deal with the stress. I'm not at a happy place in my life as of now. I don't show it in front of my kids but I just need a piece of mind. A bitch is going through it, I got my kids depending on me and I can't give up. Nobody knows what I'm going through.

I sigh and look at Bahir. Great, he's sleeping. "Listen. I understand it and you know I do. You know us. I'm here through everything. I promise Lay. I love you more than you and those kids anything. I love them as if they are my own. It's okay not to be okay baby. Everybody goes through their lows at one point." I say putting Bahir on the other side of me and pulling her into my arms.

I hate to see my loved ones going through it. It's not something I would even wanna witness because it hurts me as well. "Sometimes you need to cry to ease your hurt. It's okay mama. Everything will be fine Layza."I say rubbing her back.

- -
NANI

"Here Lyric give me that." I say taking her bag of clothes from her. We just moved into our new house two weeks ago. I've got new furniture in the living room and my room and the kids room as well. We moved to South Dakota. The kids started school already as well.

We won't be going back to Philly unless we are visiting or it's very important. "Mommy when am I gonna see my daddy?" Legend asks. "Whenever he comes to see you." I mumble. "Mommmmmyyyy." He shines making me laugh.

"FaceTime him on your IPad Legend." I say. Bash has been calling himself cursing me out for leaving and taking the kids. I honestly just wanted a fresh start though. It's not about him or his drama, can't nobody run me out of nowhere. I just wanted to let my kids experience more than just Philly. We have traveled places but I want them to be able to say "My mom took me here." Or "I remember when we lived here."

I want to give them the world and show them the world also. Everything I do is for them, I want them to know that they are my world. It's their world I'm just living in it. "Daddy when you coming to see us?" Lyric asks.

"Soon Lyric. Y'all live far now but all I gotta do is just get on the plane." He says. "Alright. We love you."

"I love y'all more." He replies then they hang up on him. "Mom how come we had to move so far? I can't even see my brothers and sisters no more." Lyric says.

"Lyric we will visit. We might even move back one day." I say rolling my eyes. "It's just not fair." She says then walks out of the living room. It's gonna be hard having them adapt to being here but it is what it is. I'm gonna make the best out of it and they are gonna have fun here.