your body is a weapon → brad simpson | ✓

forty three

I put the baking tray that we used on the side, the cupcakes fully cooked. My cheeks were still burning from the kiss.

"Uh, we should leave them to cool before we make the icing," I say, turning to face Brad. He smiles at me and I realise I've messed up his hair really badly.

"That's fine," he nods and I close the oven door and turn it off so that the house doesn't end up burning down, which would be just my luck. "Is your foot okay?"

I was too busy thinking about the kiss to even remember that my foot got hurt.

I nod, brushing some hair behind my ear.

"What do you want to do now?" I ask, glancing at the cupcakes before diverting my gaze back on to Brad.

"We can carry on watching films?" He suggests. We were both trying to make this the least awkward as possible but we weren't doing a good job at it.

"Yeah, okay."

We walk into my lounge and I turn off the film that we were watching before we started baking. Brad and I sit next to each other and he hesitantly puts his arm over my shoulder. I cuddle at his side to let him know that I didn't mind being close to him.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Brad asks abruptly, and I look up to him with my eyebrows furrowed slightly. "About the kiss, I mean. You don't have to, but—,"

I press a kiss to his lips softly with confidence. He stops talking and his hands move to my hips, pulling me on to his lap with ease. I loop my arms around his shoulders, pulling away from the kiss.

"If I'm honest, I like this way of talking," Brad says, a smile pulling on to his lips. "But I want to know where we stand, if that makes sense?"

I smile and nod, "of course." He pushes some hair behind my ear before kissing the corner of my mouth.

He was going to ask how I feel towards him and I'm not sure. It's confusing. I want to kiss him—I definitely like the feeling of it—but I also don't want to ruin our friendship. Would I want to be more than best friends with him?

"I've been trying to make it obvious to you how much I like you," he says to me. "And I do, a lot, Jamie. I want you to know that. It turns out that you're really stupid when it comes to taking hints."

I laugh halfheartedly at that. I had no clue that he liked me at all. Besides the almost-kiss at the New Year party, I didn't take any of his hints until the night of Aiden's party where he confessed he's saving himself from me. I just didn't take note of it, really. It came in through one ear and then straight out of the other one.

"But I don't want you to feel like you have to like me like that," he says, brushing his nose against mine. "I don't want to rush you into anything you don't want."

What do I want? Do I want a relationship with Brad? I think I do, I trust him with everything, but I don't want it to not work out and then we're no longer friends. That would break me.

I purse my lips and look down at my lap. I don't want to play with his mind—kissing him one minute and then deciding that I don't want to be in a relationship like that with him.

"You don't have to want anything," he tells me, lifting my head up with one of his fingers so that I'm looking at him. "We can stay best friends, it's your call, Jamie."

"I don't want to try it and then it not work out," I explain. "Because you're my best friend, and I don't want to lose that with you. Being in a relationship could ruin our friendship if we're not careful and I have literally no idea what being in a relationship entails."

"I understand," he says and I know he means it. "I've thought about it so much and I know I don't want to lose you, ever. I haven't had experiences in a proper relationship before. I've never loved someone before."

He pauses, tilting his head. He wants to say something, but he doesn't at the same time. I don't question him.

"If I'm honest, I don't know what I want right now," I say. "Not entirely, anyway. I don't want to mess your head up, though."

"You already did," he smiles, kissing my cheek softly. "You're always on my mind." I feel my cheeks heat up, they're probably the deepest red possible by now.

I think this conversation opened a door inside my head that made me realise the reason that I'm protective over Brad—like at the dinner the other night—and why I'm so grateful for him all of the time is because I like him more than a friend. I just never felt the need to realise this until now.

"I want things to go slow," I finally decide. "I know that there's something there, but I just don't know if I'm ready yet."

He nods, biting back a smile of his own. "I don't mind that at all. Anything to be with you."

I rest my head on his shoulders. He could definitely feel my heart against his chest as we hug close to each other.

+

I wake up in the morning under my bedsheets. I don't remember coming up here, I must have fallen asleep or something and Brad brought me upstairs.

My mind replays everything that happened to last night. My foot. The kiss. The profession. Everything happened so fast that I'm overwhelmed.

I pick up my phone that's still on charge and text Luna, deciding I'll talk to her and take advice from her. She doesn't take long to reply and says I can meet her during her lunch break which starts in an hour, which gives me plenty of time to change.

I notice a piece of paper that's on my nightstand as I sit up and it's a note from Brad. Has he not heard of texting? I pick it up.

You fell asleep so I brought you up here, I hope you don't mind. I also iced the cupcakes while you were asleep on the sofa. I took a couple home for the boys, if that's okay. Text me when you're awake.

I read over the note, a small smile on my face. I hope he wasn't too tired to drive himself home or anything.

Once I've messaged him, I decide to text Luna and ask to meet up with her. She's someone that will give me good advice on what to do on the whole entire Brad situation, and right now I need advice the most.

I don't regret agreeing to taking things slow with Brad, I just wanted to be reassured that I'm not making an irrational decision.

Luna agreed to meet up during her lunch shift at Den's Diner and I get ready to meet her. I put on some jeans and a baggy shirt to tuck in before I get the bus to the diner. My dad was at work today so I had to lock up, too.

My phone starts ringing as I wait for the bus and Brad's contact flashes up on the screen. I pick it up, biting back a smile. "Good morning."

"Hey," he says back, his voice sounded gruff, he probably just woke up. "Are you doing anything today?"

"I'm meeting up with Luna for a bit," I reply. "Why?"

"I've got nothing to do today so I wanted to spend it with you," he says. "Can we hang out after? I'll pick you up from the diner if that's where you're meeting."

"Of course we can hang out," I smile and I bet I look like an idiot just stood there grinning at my phone. "My bus is here, I'll text you?"

"Okay, baby," he says and my heart skips a beat. Why is my body suddenly reacting weirdly at whatever he says? "I'll see you later."

"See you later."

edited.