your body is a weapon → brad simpson | ✓

fifty two

"You text me if you need me, okay? I don't care if I'm in a stupid meeting," Brad says, holding both of my hands delicately in his. I didn't get chance to tell him after the dinner since he was getting whisked away for the meeting.

"I got it," I say nervously. He thought I was anxious because I was going to be without his safety but in reality it's because he could come out of there knowing the full truth, hating me.

"Brad, we need to go in," Aiden says, his hand resting on his shoulder firmly. "We can't keep them waiting."

Brad nods before kissing my lips briefly. "I'll see you in a bit, babe."

"Okay," I say quietly, my voice cracking slightly as my tears begin to well. I'm glad he gets taken before he can notice.

Aiden glances at me as Brad goes upstairs. "I'll see you afterwards, Jamie."

"No slip-ups, Aiden," I tell him. "Good luck up there, break your spine."

He smiles softly. "Right back at you, midge." He turns on his heel and walks up, following Brad up the stairs.

When Aiden and I were younger, we always used to cheer each other on with those few sentence exchanges. I never remember where it came from, but it stuck with us this far.

I let out a shaky breath before moving through the house and out to the back garden. Security line the doors. No one is outside right now but I need some fresh air.

"Excuse me, but you can't come through," one of the men says. "Outside is off limits after the dinner. If you want to smoke, you'll have to go out to the front of the house."

I sigh. "I don't want to smoke, I want some air. Can you let me through please?"

"No, ma'am," he shakes his head. "Boss' orders, sorry."

"I don't care," I say, attempting to move forward but other guards have blocked the doorway. "Let me outside so I can get some damn air!"

"I'm not allowed, ma'am."

"Well, then ring your boss and tell him to let me outside."

The security man sighs, taking out the walkie talkie in his pocket and raising it to his mouth. "We have a girl out here demanding to go into the back garden. What's our protocol? Over."

"Who is it?" A voice replies. I know it's Aiden's because he's the boss here. "Over."

The security looks over expectantly and I quickly reply. "My name is Jamie."

"Jamie, over," the man says into the device. There's a couple of seconds before Aiden answers again.

He's chuckling, "let her through, guys. No one else, though. Over."

The security man looks at me with a sigh, stepping to the side and letting me open the door and take some air outside. I felt like I was suffocating in there.

Tonight is possibly the worst night of my life. I've had to make the hardest decision I've ever had to do, risking my happiness to let others live. I don't gain anything from this after all—well, except a wealthy husband.

The fact Brad is going to hate me, never be able to look me in the eye, is going to break me. I want to devote every moment of my life with him but instead I can't, I need to him to stay alive instead.

I try and control my breathing as I realise I'm hyperventilating. I'm having an anxiety attack but I need to calm down.

I press my warm hand against the wall of the house, the coldness sending chills through my body. In through my nose. Out through my mouth. Breathe.