All I Wanted Was Love (Zak Bagans)

Chapter 1

Mary:
I had been sixteen when I started cutting myself.
Cutting didn't feel good, but it didn't feel bad either. Teens and adults cut for all different reasons. Some cut because they feel they deserve the pain, others cut to breathe. I used to cut to take away the pain I was feeling.
They weren't deep cuts, not enough to really hurt me, but deep enough to feel.
I cut all down the length of my left arm, in the middle, near the elbow, and even once faintly in my wrist.
As a child my mother committed suicide, and I used to think it was my fault. I never got to say goodbye.
Then my father remarried, a woman named Marie.
Marie hated me and showed it later in my childhood. She called me names and made me feel worthless.
Stupid
Retard
Ugly
Vegetable
She even called me a asshole whenever she spoke about to my father.
" make sure to have Asshole make a Christmas list." She would say.
The hardest part?
My father never corrected her, in fact he joined it and would to call me Asshole in front of her.
I knew whenever she used my real name, Mary I was in trouble.
She also seemed to like to tell me how I was never going to go anywhere in life, I was never going to become the dream job I had picked out because I won't be able to do it. She said I couldn't do anything right, and the simplest thing that might happen, like a bottle fall off a table she would act like I caused  mass destruction.
When she yelled at me I would stare blankly at her, probably because one, I heard the same shut everyday and two, because I tried not to show how much it really hurt when she said these things to me.
This is when the cutting began.
I had always read books about depressed girls cutting, but I never wanted to try it myself and be known as crazy, but one day the pain was so bad I just needed to do something.
So I broke a razor ( which took forever)
I picked the part of the skin I wanted
And I hesitated for about ten minutes before making the first cut.
It was small, but enough for the ruby red blood to come out.
And I didn't feel the pain I had moments ago, all my attention was turned to the blood.
Soon, every time I was yelled at and insulted the little devil would whisper in my ear.
" cut!" It would say, " I want to cut."
So I did, cutting is a distraction, and that's what I did.
But I did get out and I did go college and I did study history and that's why I got my dream job, working as a museum curator in Las Vegas. The museum honors Ada Cuttle, one of Nevada's most famous writers during the 1800s. I love my job and I live to teach people.
I up from bed around 9:30 because I need to be at the museum at 10:00. I shower, get dressed in black dress pants and a sweater. I let my brown curls loose and pin my name tag on. My teeth are a shining white and I put on some makeup.
I don't go heavy with makeup, I like a more natural look, foundation, concealer, mascara, eyeliner and powder.
Easy and simple, but gorgeous.
I then feed Max, my kitty his wet food and I fix myself some coffee.
Three Splenda and a splash of milk.
I have exactly five minutes to drink the coffe, I can't be late for work and traffic sucks her in Las Vegas and coffee is portable.
In the car, coffee in hand and Ariana grande playing.
Great morning, good morning.
I get into downtown and do the worst parallel parking the world has ever seen and rush into the building just in time.
Rose my boss is waiting by the time clock.
Rose is a bitch.
" You were almost late again Ms. Potter, one more time and I'll just have to write you up, and what a shame that will be." She smiles and flicks her tongue at me and slithers away.
My face is hot and I go into the staff room and look at the tour schedule for today. I scan my name and I have three tours today,
"Hey,sugar!" A voice calls at me and I turn already knowing it's Andrea.
"Hey." I mumble, and take a sip of my cold coffee.
Andrea frowns, confused at me being so gloomy and then understanding. " she got after you again?" She asks, knowing I'm talking about Rose.
I shrug, " yeah." And walk over to the sink to dump the rest of my coffee out. 
"Well I got some good news for you!" She smiles big.
"Oh yeah what? A million dollars?" I scoff and pour myself a fresh hot cup of coffee.
"Honey, you know about all those ghost problems you've had around here, with the assault and shit and girl, that is NOT okay so I called some people to come in and investigate!"
Andrea claps her hands together.
I snort," Who? Ghost busters?" I take  a long sip of coffee.
"No they said they was some Ghost Adventures, or something like that." Andrea tries to think if she got the name right.
I spit out my coffee,
Holy shit!
Ghost adventures!!!!