Love In Twenty And Five

DAY THREE

Pausing before the glass doors, Mike took a deep breath and let it out slowly, in a failed attempt to dispel his anxiety. He was back to the hospital to finish his hours, but it was the thought of running into Eden that filled him with a feeling of anxiety.

For a second, he stood doubting his decision to return. It was Judie's words that stuck to him all evening, compelling him to come back, and so much more than that, she tried to compel him to tell Eden how he felt. While he decided to take her advice to return, he couldn't confess his feelings for it would be pointless to do so. Judie couldn't possibly understand how messed up he was, if she did, she wouldn't be hoping he would end up with her friend.

He took yet another deep breath, before making his way into the hospital. He took the elevator to the third floor, found the janitor's closet, and changed into the grey overall. He easily fell into his daily routine of cleaning and taking out the trash, all the while hoping to catch a glimpse of Eden. He didn't look forward to running into her, but he hoped he could at least catch a glimpse from afar. He missed her, and desired greatly to see her. But Mike was getting used to being denied what he wanted.

Mike forgot about the grief meetings, until he was walking into it. Grace was seated in her usual seat in the middle, with several familiar faces of women seated on seats surrounding her.

She turned briefly at the sound of the door opening, surprise lighting up her eyes. He hadn't seen her since he kissed her.

Forcing a smile to his lips, he offered her a nod in greeting, before turning to exit the room. He would return later, he decided. The last thing he wanted to do was face Grace and try to come up with an explanation for the kiss because there was no explanation, and it meant nothing to him —nothing but a desperate attempt to ease the pain and fill the void in his heart. But he couldn't tell Grace that, she was a lovely woman. He couldn't tell her he had stopped low enough as to try to use her. It was one of the many reasons he couldn't be with Eden; he was selfish.

He ate his lunch in the coffee shop across the hospital, rather than the cafeteria. He was afraid of running into Eden, or Judie. Yet, he found himself settling on the same table Eden had chosen to mourn her patient.

He ran his fingers over the table, vividly remembering how her tears had stained this same spot. He remembered being insensitive to her pain, standing over her and being a complete idiot. He had been the same way the day she broke the news of his daughter's death to him.

Even now, as he sat on the table with his eyes on his bagel, he saw her face; pale. Her shoulders were slouched, and the tip of her nose was pink. It was how he knew Maddie was dead; he saw the grief in Eden. She had been Maddie’s favorite doctor, the two having formed a bond over the year Maddie had been in and out of the hospital. It was simply impossible for Eden to have felt nothing over Maddie’s death. Still, he didn't care. He was too angry to care. The pain he felt in that moment as he struggled to maintain his footing, was like madness.

“Mr. Stacks, I'm so sorry,” she began, two worry lines pulling on the edges of her brows. “Maddie passed away this evening,” she spoke the words his heart already knew, knocking the air out of his lungs.

His fingers trembled, threatening to release their hold on the bouquet of roses, and box in his hand. His world stopped spinning in that second, his heart stopping as well. He lost control of his senses, and his temper with it.

“It's Christmas.” His own gruff whisper filled his ears. It was Christmas! She wasn't supposed to die on the day of Christmas, a day that was supposedly made for celebration.

“I know that Mr. Stacks,” her solemn voice broke through the commotion in his head, somehow gaining his attention, “and I'm really sorry.”