HURDLES AND THEM

Chapter 06

"Thaiba, I want to tell you something" I told when I was sitting with her in the bed.

"what darling?" she asked me and I kept my head on her lap and said "Shazad is telling that he....."I told and she continued "is loving you"

"how do you know?" I asked in surprise.

"Shazir told me that. Shazad has spoken about it to him. he has asked me to convince you" she said and I did not want to her to continue, when I gave a reply "oh, then are you also supporting haram?"

I saw absolute clarity in her face because she never gave vague answers and she was more pious than me. she explained "Zan, I did not ask you to hang out with him and engage on any Haram acts, all you have to do is to say whether you like him or not and have your Nikah and remember that you are no longer a small kid. you are 19 now. if you don't like him, tell it to his face instead of advising him. it can create false expectations in his mind and you will have to count for it"

this confused me. do I like him or not? will I have a beautiful life with him? will my life be like the one I dream about? will he be like the one I dream about? will he accept all my dreams? will he be supportive?
these questions started to fill my mind and suddenly the last question was "will he be with me forever?"

Thaiba looked straight into my eyes and said "don't worry about ma and da, they like him"

"why are you trying to brainwash me?" I asked when she suddenly put up a wry face after listening to my question.

"Zanya, this was the same with me. I never agreed with Shazir but finally I agreed when I started thinking that he is a great person. put out your negative thoughts. I personally know Shazad,he would be the best. Shazir has often spoken about him when he chats with me. he is like the one you imagined"

but why she is trying to prove me that Shazad is the best. I felt like I am changing. no, I can't let this happen. I told "Thaiba, how can you tell that I like him when I like somebody else. I am loving a boy. I have never told him that I love him. he is 20" and asking forgiveness from Allah for lying.

"Zan, you never told me this" she said and continued "I will tell Shazir about this and ask him to convince Shazad because he will feel broken" and she took the phone and went out.

hundreds of questions were running on my mind and the first was that why didn't she inquire about the person I am loving. that made me feel bad and that whole night the two questions that kept me awake was why do I hate Shazad and why didn't Thaiba ask about that 20 year old.