HURDLES AND THEM

Chapter 07

confusion captured my whole heart and nightmares confused my night sleep. I woke up late and ran to school and my dad's horrible advices was the first thing I heard when entering school.

I ran to the class and my inner mind was urging for Shazad's attention while my brain was fighting against it.

"okay, looking once and checking where he is, is not haram" my mind spoke finally and my eyes started rolling In search of him. but he was not there. maybe I did not find him the first time, I tried for the second time too. Shazad was a regular student like me. he never missed school. but why is he absent?

this thought really imprisoned my thoughts at the beginning, but later on Aafiya and Aashad could make up my mind.

"Thaiba, today Shazad didn't come to school" I said to her after having a shower. she was lying on the bed and chatting with someone and she was smiling alone. probably it has to be Shazir.

"huh?" she asked and I understood that she was not interested in what I am going to talk. so to make fun of her I started "haha, baby Thai, now you will not hear what I am speaking of. you will only hear new melodies in the air not the words of this sister" I said and went to sit next to her.

"haha....really funny" she said mockingly.
"I did not tell any jokes....." I said and after a pause "Thaiba ask why Shazad didn't come to school?"

she was lying and now she sat on the bed and she had a keen mood now. why is she so interested in Shazad's story? anyways that's none of my business.

"okay!! now why is this darling sister of mine asking about him?" she asked. this infused laughter inside but externally I showed a face which gave an outlook of anger.

"just, he was absent today and he rarely gets absent. that's all......now can you ask or no?" I told.

"hey baby, cool...cool..I will ask....wait" she told and gave a smile which had a millions of stories hidden.

I was eagerly waiting for the reply. what made me interested in him was a question I could not answer. it was similar to a simultaneous question with fractions.

this sudden change that occurred in my mind is unexplainable. I am turning toward immoral behaviour. what can I do? maybe this time my brain was more powerful than the mind, I did not speak anything, I just stood up and walked. I could sense the look Thaiba was giving behind. but I tried to be strong and just neglecting all the ill thoughts that were trying to change me.

I walked out and reached the balcony. I could see the sun light diminishing and birds flying. I wanted to forget that I have got interest in Shazad. I thought why my mind is in a battle. I had no good reasons to like him or bad reasons to neglect him.

I stared at the sky with confusion. I heard footsteps and I knew it was Thaiba. I wanted to run away but all what I could do was just jump out of the balcony. but I know I will not because it is easier to listen than to kill myself.

"Zanya, Shazir told that Shazad will not be attending school hereafter. he is moving to America this Tuesday" and she did not finish, my heart started beating and I could hear the beats. but thank God, tears did not pop out.

I really had the feeling of a psycho. I did not the reason why I am having a different feeling towards him, was it Thaiba's words or was it my effort to know why I hate him. what made me react like a stupid was like a miracle....I was left confused for seconds.

once again, I thank God because Thaiba did not see my reactions because she was interested in her phone. I wanted to give a reply, so I told "Oh! is that the reason? maybe he is going to learn engineering there...." I told in a flow not really knowing why I told that he is going to learn engineering...

"maybe" she told and she left.
but I could feel pain and loneliness pictured in front of me.