HURDLES AND THEM

Chapter 04

two months passed....I made new friends too. Aashad and Aafiya became my best friends. they visited my home with their parents and we visited restaurants too.

I will get my university if I pass the examination in my final exams and there are 22 more months for that exam...

today school started after a weekend and two more days of holidays.

I came to school. I saw Shazan standing by the gate and he came running to me. 

while I was walking just neglecting him,  Shazan said "hey Zanya, I am Shazad...."just now I got to know that he was Shazad not Shazan.
"can I talk to you during the break....it's really urgent" he Said with sadness running all over his face.

"yeah, okay!" I said and started walking.

"Zan, Shazad was looking for you, he wanted to speak to you" Aashad said and they both laughed.
they knew how much I commented on his character and how much I hated him.
"yeah, I met him by the gate and I said I would to him during the break" and sat next to Aafiya. Aashad gave me that place back because he understood how much I felt uncomfortable in sitting next to Shazad.

it was the break time now. "what is he gonna tell" and I was thinking about all those past memories where he had insulted me and my character. how he used to give me hints about the role a Muslim girl should play.

I got up to leave. "want me to join you?" Aashad asked and I turned to him and told "no, its okay. I will manage" and left the place giving a smile to both of them.

Shazad was sitting alone in the table in the right corner of The cafeteria. I walked to him and he was thinking deeply looking at the park.

"excuse me" I said clearing with throat. "yeah, Zanya...come....sit...." and he showed me the milkshake and signalled me to have it. I checked whether he had.
he had one in his hand. so I took a sip and he came forward to talk. when he came forward I felt some thing was serious at this moment.

he cleared his throat. "Zanya, I am sorry" and I was wondering what this sorry is for.... he continued...."Zanya, you are not only my class mate but my relative too" and I was too quick to ask him in an agitated tone "so what?"

"I Can understand. I know I have hurt you more than everyone.....I know that I had been using offensive words.....I am sorry" he said.

all those recollection made me infuriated and this time I said "better not to talk about it. tell me why you called me here. they will be waiting"

"just try to understand Zanya. I came to your house last Friday and mom asked why you weren't talking to me" he told and I replied back without taking even a splintered second "ha! you could have told that my role as a Muslim girl was not good and you hate me and blah blah blah"

"that was a misunderstanding" he said in a sad tone. but still I did not worry for having a harsh tone. I knew that my emotions were justifiable for his actions and I thought that this harshness was quite less than he deserved.

"misunderstanding means you have to keep away from talking nuisance. It it just useless in having to explain you" I said but I did not know how words flowed that fast and harsh.

"okay...please Zanya. I apologize. I felt hurt when you just neglected me at home" he Said and I began to recollect

that Friday I came down after a nap after Maghrib prayers and I was shocked to see Shazad and his parents there. I greeted them and went to the kitchen. mom was busy in making dinner for them.
I really wanted to ask who they were and somehow mom began to introduce. "they are your dad's cousin. that boy is Shazad. he knows you I guess because he is studying in the same school"

"yeah he is in my class" I replied and my mom turned and gave me a surprised look and she asked "then why aren't you speaking to him"

"what is there to speak to him?" I asked and at the same time Shazad entered the kitchen to give the glasses back.
I stopped for some time and reacted like I did not know him.

my mom turned to me and asked "Zan and Shazad.....why are you both acting like you don't know....Zan take him to our garden and show things around"

"why should I?" I asked and turned to look at his expression. he felt insulted and he put his down. this was all what I expected from him. he left after sometime.

but this time, my mom was infuriated. she turned to me and said "will you please go and at least talk to them? I have to talk to dad about your irresponsible behavior"

I just left to talk to them. I did not see Shazad there. he was standing in our veranda staring at the garden. "Zan, you can go show him the garden" said my dad.

I could not neglect that. I took my slippers and left out with my phone.
"you can go wherever you want. I don't care and I am not your slave here" I said and I did not understand why I said so.

"Zan, please understand my words" I said and I was up.  "huh" I asked him because I was thinking about what happened.

"Shazad, I don't think that I will be able to accept your apologies. they are useless. if you had misunderstandings you can just stay away from talking to me and talking about me. there is no need of telling that I am in a relationship. I have boyfriends and I have an anti Islamic character. I hope that I know better Islam than you.  because I am far better in treating people. Shazad just because I hated you, I did not go around the school telling what I am feeling about you and I could have told about your idiotic qualities in spreading news about others. I don't care. after every Salat, I used to pray asking that Allah should guide you and show what's right. although I have prayed, now I am not in a mood of forgiving. just recall how you insulted me and....." I said but I couldn't continue because tears started flowing in his eyes when he saw tears flowing down mine.

"I am sorry" he said and I couldn't control. my weakness is that I can't see men crying.

"hey Shazad, what's wrong? I am sorry, if I have spoken something wrong" I said as I was not able to control my tears.

"I spoke to my cousin and got to know about you, she knows you well and my misunderstandings were proved to be wrong" he said again while I was looking down at the table with still tears flowing.

"what was that great misunderstanding?" I asked him back but still looking down.

"I thought you were loving Aashad" he said with a smile.

"what the hell?"I thought to myself and out of my control my words popped out to ask "what is it to do with you?" and after asking I wondered why I asked such a question.

but he was quite fast to explain "I am too much concerned about you. maybe I......" and he stood with a smile and left. he left me confused. he came back again and told "please understand and don't ask me back what it is" and this time I understood. I did not smile but he did.